I was at a little breakfast nook the other day. The people I was eating with brought their young daughter with them. The dearest lady in my life happens to teach little ones. I am amazed at her ability to do so. At the end of the day, she always has a story to share. Sometimes, it is about an angelic child and sometimes it is about a holy terror, but there is always a story.

Well, it didn’t take long for me to get a story because as soon as the waitress came over to take our order, the little girl said that she would like a “proached” egg. Of course, her parents corrected her and told her that it is not a “proached” egg, but a poached egg.

But I could see that the little one was hungry and into “gimme” mode. She could care less how to pronounce it. She just knew that she wanted it and she wanted it now.

After a rather long wait to get our food, the waitress finally came over with plates in hand and set the eggs in front of the little girl. She picked up a little, blew on it and put it into her mouth. She immediately spit it out and cried out, “It’s too cold.” I told her not to worry that the waitress could have them heated up or poached again, which calmed her for a moment.

I told her how to nicely ask the waitress, instead of screaming at her. And she actually followed my directions because when the waitress came back over the little girl asked, “Can you reproach my eggs?”

So, first, she wanted a “proached” egg and now she wanted a “reproached egg,” and I have to say that the waitress was being an all-around good egg about it.

When the eggs came back from being “reproached,” the little one said that they were nice and “leyow,” and that “leyow” was her favorite color; and she went on to tell me that she also loved red and orange, and blue, like my shirt. The problem was that blue was not the color of my shirt, but that is what she saw when she looked at it. The little girl had a problem with colors. She saw the world a bit differently.

Her parents tried to correct her, but the little one begged to disagree … okay, she screamed in disagreement.

I realized they were trying to teach her, but I was not so sure that they would be able to even consider that their daughter might see the world differently. You see, they were doing exactly what their daughter did with her eggs. They were reproaching her.

We all perceive things a little differently. For instance, in your house of worship, one congregant might find the sanctuary too hot, another too cold, but one might be fortunate enough to find that the temperature is perfect, the seats nice and cushy, the company a delight and, with that perception, they see a place filled with joy and brightness.

Our perception creates our reality, but it isn’t just how we perceive things. It is also how we approach them. Sadly, far too many of us don’t show much brightness in the way we approach others. We are far too busy reproaching them.

Reproaching someone only works if you are wise enough to choose the right approach. Better yet, maybe take a moment to close your eyes and try to see things through someone else’s eyes. That should be a real eye opener.

Shalom my friends,

Rabbi Craig H. Ezring

Rabbi Ezring is the spiritual leader of Temple Beth Israel of Deerfield Beach. We welcome you to join our warm and caring family for Shabbat and festival services. We’ll make your heart glow…who knows, you might even fall in love with Shul all over again.