THE THERAPY ROOM: Shopping addiction

Posted on 20 June 2019 by LeslieM

Shopping addiction, shopaholic and oniomania are terms used to define and describe someone who has a Compulsive Buying Disorder or CBD.

CBD is the frequent preoccupation with buying or impulses to buy that are experienced as irresistible, intrusive and senseless. The buying behavior causes marked distress, and interferes with social functioning, relationships and often results in financial problems.

CBD has three general stages:

  • Preoccupation with shopping
  • Pre-purchase tension or anxiety
  • Sense of relief following purchase

A psychotherapy patient of mine, we will call Renee for confidentiality purposes, came to see me and told me that she is a recovering alcoholic. Renee attends Alcoholic Anonymous (AA) Meetings locally and online. She told me that she lost close to 30 lbs. since she stopped drinking alcohol and was now eating healthier foods, drinking more water and exercising regularly.

Renee has changed many things in her life for the better, but she told me she is in debt and that, over the past six months, she acquired two credit cards and she specifically uses these credit cards to shop online and to buy clothes.

Renee likes the way her body has changed and improved since she lost weight and feels she is addicted to buying clothes online in order to show off her new physical appearance. She likes the attention she receives and cried while telling me that she never received positive attention from anyone in the past.

I spoke with Renee about the amount of money she spends while shopping. She told me she is spending thousands of dollars shopping online, and said that one credit card she uses has notified her that they are suspending her charging privilege. I recommended that Renee attend Debtors Anonymous meetings to help her understand the reality of her spending habit and the financial damage it was creating.

We also discussed the amount of time Renee spends while shopping. She told me she is spending at least three to eight hours a day searching various online shopping sites. She would sometimes be online through the night and not get the proper rest needed.

Here are steps discussed to help Renee reduce and better manage her CBD:

  • Attend Debtors Anonymous meetings
  • Contact the credit card companies to be pro-active and discuss payment options
  • Consider returning or re-selling purchased items
  • Remove mobile phone and other devices from her bedroom to avoid any evening online shopping temptation and in order to help her get the rest she needs
  • Explore new activities, such as reading books of interest, to lessen and alleviate the urge to shop online
  • Explore her thoughts, feelings and behaviors around being sober, being healthy, her body image and define what shopping and clothes represent

Step by step, Renee is successfully exploring her thoughts and actions relating to her Compulsive Shopping Disorder. Her accomplishments only emphasize my belief that “Change is possible!”

Dr. Julia Breur is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist with a private clinical psychotherapy practice in Boca Raton. For more information, call 561-512-8545, email info@drjuliabreur.com or visit www.drjuliabreur.com

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