In the midst of preparing for the New Year, I was strangely offended by a request for forgiveness. You see, as the New Year approaches, it is up to each of us to really think about things we have done that may have in some way hurt someone, and we are to go to each particular individual and actually ask for their forgiveness.
There is a formula we use to ask for such forgiveness. “If by action/inaction, speech/silence, presence/absence, I have in any way offended you, I ask your forgiveness. May you have happiness, love, peace, joy and prosperity and may our friendship strengthen in the year ahead.”
A “friend” made such a request for forgiveness. The words did not offend me. The words are good and holy words … words that can and should lead to forgiveness and peace. The problem is that those words were not delivered in person, or by phone or by the U.S. Postal Service. No, those words were sent to me via e-mail … and those very same words were sent to a huge number of other people. In fact, the e-mail heading wasn’t even addressed with my or anyone else’s name. It simply began “Dear Friend.”
Years ago, I became a Bar Mitzvah. I gave the usual “Today I am a man” speech. I was now responsible for my own actions, my own prayers. I was now responsible for fulfilling my obligations to G-d, to my people, to other beings and to the world.
Much of it was ritualistic, but nonetheless, still of great import. But, my first task as a member of the adult community was to acknowledge every single gift by writing a “Thank You” note. I was the youngest son of a Rabbi who had been the leader of a congregation for more years than some of you have been alive, so there were no less than 1,000 cards to write. And, I was taught that you don’t wait three or six months to write those cards. You do it as quickly as possible. That is your responsibility and each note of thanks should be personal in nature.
I remember one gift … a Cross Pen. It was gorgeous and in the card I wrote something along the lines of, “I want to thank you so much for the beautiful pen. It is the best pen I have ever owned. It is so great that I will not take it to school with me. Instead, I will only use it at home for special things, things like writing this “Thank You” note to you for your thoughtfulness, which I so greatly appreciate. And, I want you to know I am going to use this pen to write each and every one of the “Thank You” notes that I need to send out for all the presents I received on the occasion of my Bar Mitzvah.” The family I sent this note to was so touched that they not only sent me a letter thanking me for the “Thank You” note, but they called and told my parents how much they enjoyed the personal touch.
When my parents hung up from that phone call, they came to me and told me I had done a very adult thing. I had taken a gift given to me and used it to make the giver happy. G-d gives us so many gifts. Let’s get personal and make His gifts count.
With blessings,
Rabbi Craig H. Ezring
Rabbi Ezring is the spiritual leader of Temple Beth Israel of Deerfield Beach. He also works in the field of Professional Chaplaincy with several healthcare providers in the area, including L’Chaim Jewish Hospice, Sunrise Health and Rehab Center, Park Summit, Advocate Home Health Services, St. John’s Health and St. Anthony’s Rehab Hospital.
