Friends of DB Arboretum meets

Thursday, Feb. 9, 7 p.m.

The Deerfield Beach Arboretum

Constitution Park

2841 W. Hillsboro Blvd.

Deerfield Beach, FL

Speaker Michael Michalski, who heads the Bromilian Society of South Florida. Usual plant giveaway and light refreshments served. Free entry. For more information, call 954-480-4495 or visit www.treezoo.com.

Movies in the Park — The Jungle Book

Friday, Feb. 10, 7p.m.

Villages of Hillsboro Park

4111 NW 6 St.

Deerfield Beach, FL 33442

Bring your family, blankets and lawn chairs. Concessions and glow merchandise will be sold for small fee, food truck on-site. For more information, call 954-480-4429 or visit www.dfb.city/moviesinthepark.

Music under the Stars

Friday, Feb. 10, 7 p.m.

Pompano Beach Great Lawn

Corner of Atlantic Blvd. & Pompano Beach Blvd.

Pompano Beach, FL 33062

Featured band: D Funk and the Flo (R&B and Funk). Free. For more information, visit www.pompanobeachfl.gov or call 954-786-4111.

Auction and Brunch

Saturday, Feb. 11, 9 to 11 a.m.

Oveta McKeithen Recreational Complex

445 SW 2 St.

Deerfield Beach, FL 33441

The Woman’s Club, Rotary Club, Historical Society, Butler House and Kiwanis Club East are going to join the Kiwanis Club West for an auction and brunch, including fish and grits, and more. Bring things to donate to the auction. $15. Call Vel. 954-428-1537 for information.

Pasta Dinner Fundraiser

Saturday, Feb. 11, 4 to 7p.m.

St. Ambrose Parish Hall

380 S. Federal Hwy.

Deerfield Beach, FL 33441

Support Boy Scout Troop 119. $7 (children 3 years and under free). Meal includes: pasta, garlic toast, salad, beverage & dessert (dine in or carry-out.) Also silent auction and raffles.

Quiet Waters Elementary 25th Anniversary Festival

Saturday, Feb. 11,11 a.m. to 4 p.m.

Quiet Waters Elementary

4150 W. Hillsboro Blvd.

Deerfield Beach 33442

Lots of inflatables, games, music, face painting, demonstrations, vendors, crafters, food and more. Wristbands/ game tickets sold at the gate. For more information email quietwaterspta@gmail.com or call 754-322-8100.

5th Annual Plants and People Day

Sunday, Feb. 12, 10 a.m. to 3 p.m.

Sample McDougald House

450 NE 10 St.

Pompano Beach, FL 33060

Vendors will share information on plants and nature, and offer a variety of products, crafts and food for sale. Speakers throughout day. Free raffles and music. Optional $5 tour of the historic house. For more information, call 954-234-6053.

Pompano Beach Garden Club meets

Monday, Feb. 13, noon

Emma Lou Olson Civic Center

1801 NE 6 St.

Pompano Beach, FL 33060

Program: NatureScape with Rose Bechard-Butman, Natural Resource Specialist. For more information, call 954-943-0029. Open to public.

Lasagña Dinner

Deerfield Beach Woman’s Club

Wednesday, Feb. 15, 6 to 8 p.m.

Woman’s Club of Deerfield Beach

910 E. Hillsboro Blvd.

Deerfield Beach, FL 33441

Kick Off to 2017 Pioneer Days. Dinner includes Caesar salad, meat or veggie lasagna dinner, tiramisu and beverage, (BYOB). Music, 50/50, raffles. $25 donation. Reservations required. Call 954-421-4700. Leave a message.

Jane’s Book Review

Wednesday, Feb. 15, 11 a.m.

Community Presbyterian Church

1920 SE 4 St.

Deerfield Beach, FL 33441

Review of The Dusty Ones: Why Wandering Deepens Your Faith, by A. J. Swoboda. Named Christianity Today Book of the Year. Book offers hope and peace to Christians and seekers alike as they make their way down the winding road of faith. For more information, call 954-427-0222.

History at High Noon

Wednesday, Feb. 15, Noon to 1 p.m.

Butler House

380 E. Hillsboro Blvd.

Deerfield Beach, FL 33441

Growing up in Deerfield Beach in the ‘50s & ‘60s with Donna Wiles, Ed Dietrich and other pioneers. Light refreshments served. Free, donations accepted. For more information, call 561- 429-0378. or visit www.deerfield-history.org.

Wine & Cheese Pioneer Days Kick-off Celebration

Thursday, Feb. 16, 8 p.m.

Butler House

380 E. Hillsboro Blvd.

Deerfield Beach, FL 33441

$10. For more information, call 954-429-0378 or visit www.deerfield-history.org.

End of Fast Camp Meeting and Seminars

Wednesday Feb. 8 to Sunday, Feb. 12

Church of the Living God

176 SW 6 St.

Deerfield Beach, FL 33441

Preparing for that Day:

• Wednesday, Feb. 8, 7:30 p.m.

With Pastor Reverend Theodus Times III

• Thursday, Feb. 9, 7:30 p.m.

With Pastor Reverend Demetric Ford

• Friday, Feb. 10, 7:30 p.m.

With Pastor Kim Dukes

• Saturday, Feb. 11, 7:30 p.m.

With Bishop George Cox

• Camp Meeting Seminar, 10 a.m. to noon

Free lunch provided following seminar.

• Sunday, Feb. 12, 11 a.m.

With host Pastor Elder Dennis Fulmore

For more information, call 954-427-1524.

In 2013, the Chicago Sun-Times cut their photography staff and instructed the reporters to snap any pictures needed with a smartphone.

Three years later, the Chicago Cubs would win the World Series. Those covering the historical moment included the Sun-Times, as well as the Chicago Tribune — who still employed photojournalists. If you were to Google either of these two paper’s front pages the day after the Cubs’ victory you would immediately recognize the capacity of a professional photographer armed with more than a smartphone. Both papers captured the event, but only one captured an iconic moment.

That’s what I love about photography. Even in a world that relentlessly avoids … still, somehow, with just a click of the shutter, that frozen moment of time can tell a story. With this in mind, I grabbed my Nikon, hopped on my longboard and rolled to the Deerfield Beach Fishing Pier over the weekend in search of nanosecond stories. Though I was not expecting to shoot anything near the level of the Tribune at Wrigley Field, I did want to post images on my social media pages that added value to my viewers — pictures they would enjoy. I found plenty, but it was the snapshot I missed that I remember the most.

Atop the parking garage above Bru’s Room, I witnessed the sun sink deeper toward the horizon, engulfing the sky with a warm orange glow. Having already snapped a few pics of the sunset, I packed my gear and called it a day. I was ready for an ice cold Coke.

It was then that the iconic shot presented itself: the sun setting, Mars-esque sky, the Deerfield Beach water tower on the horizon and the Hillsboro Bridge open in the foreground. I knew by the time I unpacked my camera, configured the shutter speed and aperture settings, the moment would have passed. All I could do was follow the advice from the more recent version of The Secret Life of Walter Mitty.

Walter Mitty (Ben Stiller), a negative assets manager for Life Magazine, sets out to find a misplaced negative sent by famed photographer Sean O’Connell (Sean Penn) — supposedly capturing “the essence of Life.” The unadventurous Mitty is forced to brave a treacherous climb through the Himalayan mountains where he finds O’Connell poised ready to photograph the elusive “ghost-cat,” a white snow leopard. When the animal enters the frame, to Mitty’s bewilderment, O’Connell doesn’t snap the pic. Mitty says, “When are you going to take it?”

“Sometimes, I don’t. If I like a moment, for me, personally, I don’t like to have the distraction of the camera. I just want to stay in it,” says O’Connell.

Mind blown! Countless times since first watching Walter Mitty, I’ve been tempted to grab my phone and take a picture, but didn’t. I’m reminded, while there are definitely times for us to capture a special moment — an iconic one even — most of the pictures we take are less about storing a memory and do more to rob us of being present and experiencing the moment.

And so, there I stood. Wanting to take a picture of the setting sun over Deerfield Beach, I clung to O’Connell’s wisdom: I stayed in the moment — no distraction of the camera. It was beautiful, satisfying even … worth clearing the distractions and being fully present.

If you are like me, there are other areas in your life where this is pertinent as well. For me, it’s in my alone time with God. My serving, reading plans, book studies, small group meetings, and even mentoring, while they all serve a higher purpose and help to capture the essence of faith, just like the camera, they can become distractions from being fully present with my Creator.

This week, take a moment to inventory the distractions that cloud your relationship with God. They may be good things, but as James C. Collins says, “Good is the enemy of great.” And we can’t have a great relationship with God — one that is as quintessential as the front page of the Tribune the morning after the 2016 World Series — if we’re bogged down by all the good, never fully present and satisfied with Him alone.

C.J. Wetzler is the NextGen pastor at First Baptist Church of Deerfield Beach. Before transitioning into full-time ministry, CJ was a commercial airline captain and high school leadership and science teacher. For questions or comments he can be reached at cj@deerfieldfirst.com.

February 5, 2017 12:32 PM

Boil Water Advisory Lifted

Effective immediately, the February 3rd, 2017 “Boil Water Advisory” is hereby rescinded. All bacterial test results showed no contamination of our drinking water. Therefore, be advised that your water is safe to drink and use for all household purposes. Thank you for your understanding during this precautionary action ensuring the integrity of the public drinking water supply.

If you have any questions, please call the City of Deerfield Beach, Water Department at 954-480-4370.

By Gary Curreri

Deerfield Beach’s Crystal Lake Golf Club kicked off its 52 year anniversary recently as Crystal Lake staff members fired up the grill, local craft beer flowed and live music played for everyone to enjoy.

“We’ve been told by some of our most loyal players that ‘Crystal Lake is back,’ – and we couldn’t be more excited about it,” said Crystal Lake Golf Club General Manager David Kandel. “We are confident in saying we have been the home of South Florida’s best value golf for more than five decades, and we invite everyone to come on out and experience it for themselves!”

Kandel, who took over as General Manager last January, is inviting players to “Re-Discover Crystal Lake” and its revamped playing experience.

“We’ve got a golf course here that is constantly described as a lot of fun to play,” said Kandel, who worked different roles at the club since 2010 including Pro Shop attendant and Golf Operations Manager.

Built in 1965, Crystal Lake Golf Club is a 6,953-yard championship par 72 golf course that was re-designed by Rees Jones in 1981. An older course with tall pines, scattered palm trees and native flora, it was renovated in 2000 with new tees and tifdwarf USGA-designed greens. The slight doglegs left and right combined with undulating greens present a challenge to golfers of all skill levels.

“If you’re looking for an enjoyable round of golf with some great people, there’s no better place than Crystal Lake Golf Club,” Kandel said. “It was wonderful celebrating the history of Crystal Lake with our amazing golf family. We are lucky to have the best customer base in the industry and it was great celebrating our anniversary with them.”

Kandel said the club is home to perfect golfing weather year-round for snowbirds in colder regions, in addition to those in the local community.

Tee times this season start at $30 and can be booked by calling 954-943-2902, or by visiting the website at www.crystallakegc.com.

Pompano pledges $1,000 donation to Jr. Lifeguards

The city of Pompano Beach Mayor Lamar Fisher recently donated $1,000 to the Pompano Beach Junior Lifeguard/Grommets Program.

Nemia Schulte, president of the Pompano Beach Junior Lifeguard Association, said Fisher had excess money from his campaign fund, so he donated it to the city program.

“Mayor Fisher has always been a big supporter of the Junior Lifeguard Program,” Schulte said. “In the past, when we had some of our kids selected to Worlds or do well at Nationals, he would issue a City Proclamation for our athletes and team before the Commissioner’s meeting.

“When my eldest daughter Julia was selected to represent the U.S. Youth National Team at Worlds in Australia in 2012, he had presented her with a proclamation,” she continued. “The commissioners also donated money to her to help her to defray some of the cost of the trip. It was really awesome to have them donate to our organization.”

Schulte said it is one of the city’s most popular and successful programs. There are approximately 300 Juniors and Grommets who participate in the program each summer.

“It is not only an educational opportunity for our children, but also one filled with many team-bonding social events,” Schulte said. “It appears that someone knows someone whose family is or has been involved with the program over the past 20-plus years of its existence.

“Also, we are proud to say that the program,” she continued, “has also reached national and international recognition for being one of the most successful junior lifeguard programs in the world.”

There are camps planned for this summer and the United States Lifeguard Association National competition will be held on Aug. 9 in Daytona Beach for Junior Lifeguards.

For more information, send an email to Schulte at nemia2000@aol.com.

By “Cinema” Dave

http://cinemadave.livejournal.com

It is easy to see why Damien Chazelle’s two movies Whiplash and La La Land received such award recognition in the entertainment industry. Both films reveal the didactic behavior of entertainment professionals with brutal honesty. The music and spectacle works as both escapism and distraction while hiding the tears of a clown.

La La Land is a simple story about ingenues attempting to be a success in their chosen profession. Sebastian (Ryan Gosling) is a pianist who worships at the altar of Jazz. Mia (Emma Stone) is an aspiring actress who works as a barrister on the Warner Brothers lot.

Taking place over the four seasons of a year, Mia and Sebastian fall in love. Despite professional struggles, the two have time to fantasize their romance with a variety of musical numbers. This film is about growth. The duo’s vocals at the beginning of the movie are a bit flat. As the movie progresses, the two performers grow in confidence and so do their vocals. La La Land features a grand finale conclusion and Gosling and Stone are more than ready for the task.

There have been 10 musicals that have won Oscar’s Best Picture Award. While lacking the seriousness of The Sound of Music and Oliver, La La Land deserves it’s kudos for its own creativity. It is a simple romance, but with so much symbolism found in the details.

Split is the No. 1 box office leader for 2017, which is good news for M. Night Shyamalan, who has not had a hit movie in almost 15 years. James McAvoy portrays a dangerous man with 23 personalities who kidnaps three teenagers and sticks them in a closet.

This is a simple suspense film and, for the most part, Shyamalan delivers. While McAvoy may be considered for next year’s award season for his dynamic performance, Split is held together by Miami Native Anya Taylor-Joy’s grounded performance. If anything, the film has made Shyamalan’s next project more interesting.

Deerfield Beach

Jan. 17: An unknown person entered a vehicle parked at 1463 SW 25 Way and stole $350 from a man’s wallet. The wallet was left on the scene.

Jan. 17: Someone stole laundry detergent and eight packs of Hanes white tees from Family Dollar at 4811 N. Dixie Hwy.

Jan. 17: A man said that a man staying in his home at 206 SW 5 St. stole a television from his home.

Jan. 18: A man reported that a car he rented was stolen from the parking lot at the Publix shopping center at 3740 W. Hillsboro Blvd.

Jan. 21: A man was observed stealing an Acer Monitor and Xbox 1 from Target at 3599 W. Hillsboro Blvd.

Jan. 25: Two commercial vehicles at 4100 N. Powerline Rd. were burglarized. The rear driver side window was broken to gain entry on one vehicle. The passenger side cargo padlock was broken on the other vehicle. A small air compressor (total value $50) was stolen.

Jan. 25: A woman said her wallet was stolen at 3555 W. Hillsboro Blvd.

Lighthouse Point

Jan. 9: A female subject concealed items in a bag and left the store at 3700 N. Federal Hwy. without paying. The loss was $93.04.

Jan. 11: A female subject left the store at 2450 N. Federal Hwy. with a cart full of diapers and entered a vehicle. The loss was $48.99.

Jan. 12: A store employee observed a female subject take $140 in groceries and leave the store at 3700 N. Federal Hwy. without paying for them.

About Boating Safely Class

Saturday, Feb. 4, 9 a.m. to 5 p.m.

Spanish River Park HQ Bldg

3001 N. St. Rd. A-1-A

Boca Raton, FL 33431

Coast Guard Auxiliary, Flotilla 3-6 presents this one-day class. $20- ages 12-19/ $35 adults. For questions or to R.S.V.P., call 561-391-3600 and leave a message.

The Big Read Workshop

Saturday, Feb. 4, 2 p.m.

Percy White Library

837 E. Hillsboro Blvd.

Deerfield Beach, FL 33441

The Big Read, a community-wide reading project, is exploring The Namesake by Pulitzer Prize-winning author Jhumpa Lahiri, As part of the program, there will be a Bengali Elephant Textile Art Workshop presented by Young At Art at this library. Library visitors will get a chance to create a beautiful and colorful Bengali elephant textile. A Young At Art Educator will showcase several traditional examples of designs, including folk stories, flowers, birds, animals and geometric patterns. Recommended for ages 9 or older. For registration, please call 954-357- 7697 and leave name and telephone number.

Boca Raton Museum Of Art Festival

Saturday, Feb. 4 & Sunday, Feb.5 , 10 a.m. to 5 p.m.

Boca Raton Museum of Art

501 Plaza Real

Boca Raton, FL 33432

Free festival features 200 of the nation’s best artisans who will display and sell high-quality art, including ceramics, wood, fiber, glass, drawing, jewelry, mixed media, painting, photography and sculpture. Art Activity Zone in the Amphitheater with performances and fun activities for the entire family. Proceeds help support the museum’s educational programs for children and youth. For more information, visit www.bocamuseum.org.

The Lucky Generation —

Presented by Peter Wise

Wednesday, Feb. 8, 11 a.m.

Community Presbyterian Church

1920 SE 4 St.

Deerfield Beach, FL 33441

Author, Peter Wise, explains why he labels us “The Lucky Generation.” Open to the public. Lunch is included. $10 donation is appreciated. Parking is complimentary. For more information, call 954-427-0222.

Meet the Mayoral candidates

Thursday, Feb. 9, 7 to 9 p.m.

Royal Fiesta

1680 SE 3 Court

Deerfield Beach, FL 33441

Presented by the Deerfield Beach Chamber of Commerce and the Kiwanis Club of Deerfield Beach, this event will give the public a chance to meet the candidates for the mayoral election. Included in the forum will be former representative Gwyndolen Clarke-Reed, Commissioner Bill Ganz, Ben Preston and Ken Wayne. For more information, visit www.deerfieldchamber.com

Sisterhood Temple Beth Israel meets

Thursday, Feb. 9, 11:30 a.m.

Temple Beth Israel

201 S. Military Tr.

Deerfield Beach, FL 33442

Lisa Lobel, of Broward Public Library, will review The Black Widow By Daniel Silva. Fee: $9 (includes kosher luncheon) All, including men, are welcome. For information, call 954-421-7060, Monday–Friday, 9 a.m. to noon.

Save the Date: Auction and Brunch

Saturday, Feb. 11, 9 to 11 a.m.

Oveta McKeithen

445 SW 2 St.

Deerfield Beach, FL 33441

The Woman’s Club, Rotary Club, Historical Society, Butler House and Kiwanis Club East are going to join the Kiwanis Club West for an auction and brunch, with fish and grits, and more. Brunch is from 9:30 to 11 a.m. Please bring things to donate to the auction. Tickets: $15. Call Vel. at 954-428-1537 for information.

Family Sports Day

Sunday, Feb. 12, 1 to 3 p.m.

Frank McDonough Park

3500 NE 27 Ave.

Lighthouse Point, FL 33064

Registration: 11:30 to noon. For more information, visit www.city.lighthousepoint.com or contact Becky Lysengen at 954-784-3439 or via email at lhprec@lighthousepoint.com.

Pompano Beach Garden Club Soup Luncheon

Saturday, Feb. 18, 11:30 a.m.

Emma Lou Olson Civic Center

1801 NE 6 St.

Pompano Beach, FL. 33060

Includes lunch, raffle and silent auction. Book review and speaker on how to grow and care for orchids. Books and plants for sale. Benefits various charities. Tickets: $18.

Contact Karen Gott 954-532-5602.

2017 KEEPER DAYS

“Lighthouse Point What a Catch; A Fisherman’s Paradise”

Friday, Feb. 10 to Sunday, Feb. 12

• Kickoff Dinner

Friday, Feb. 10, 6 p.m.

Lighthouse Point Yacht Club

2701 NE 42 St.

Lighthouse Point, FL 33064

This year’s Keeper Honorees are The Kniskern family, of KMC Marine; The Ganter family, of Seafood World; and Tom Greene, of Custom Rod and Reel. Tickets: $60 per person. For more information, call Becky Lysengen at 954-784-3439.

• Parade & Celebration

Saturday Feb. 11, 10 a.m.

Route: From First Presbyterian Church of Pompano Beach to NE 24 Street north, to Frank McDonough Park (at 3500 NE 27 Ave.) The parade route will be closed for 20-minute intervals between 10 and 11 a.m. Daytime celebration: Frank McDonough Park, 11 a.m. to 1 pm., includes a car show, bounce houses and entertainment.

• Evening celebration

Saturday Feb. 11, 6 to 9 p.m.

Dan Witt Park

4541 NE 22 Ave.

Lighthouse Point, FL 33064

Includes concert by Big City Dawgs, food vendors and

fireworks. Bring lawn chair.

Once there was a beloved emperor in a small country who was growing old and knew it was coming time to choose his successor. Instead of choosing one of his assistants or one of his own children, he decided to do something different.

He called all the young people in the kingdom together one day. He said, “It has come time for me to step down and to choose the next emperor. I have decided to choose one of you.”

The kids were shocked! But the emperor continued. “I am going to give each one of you a seed today – one seed. It is a very special seed. I want you to go home, plant the seed, water it and come back here one year from today with what you have grown from this one seed. I will then judge the plants that you bring to me, and the one I choose will be the next emperor of the kingdom!”

There was one boy named Ling who was there that day and he, like the others, received a seed. He went home and excitedly told his mother the whole story. She helped him get a pot and some planting soil, and he planted the seed and watered it carefully. Every day, he would water it and watch to see if it had grown.

After about three weeks, some of the other youths began to talk about their seeds and the plants that were beginning to grow. Ling kept going home and checking his seed, but nothing ever grew. Three weeks, four weeks, five weeks went by — still nothing.

By now others were talking about their plants but Ling didn’t have a plant, and he felt like a failure. Six months went by, still nothing in Ling’s pot. He just knew he had killed his seed. Everyone else had trees and tall plants, but he had nothing. Ling didn’t say anything to his friends, however. He just kept waiting for his seed to grow.

A year finally went by and all the youths of the kingdom brought their plants to the emperor for inspection. Ling told his mother that he wasn’t going to take an empty pot. But she encouraged him to go, and to take his pot, and to be honest about what happened. Ling felt sick to his stomach, but he knew his mother was right. He took his empty pot to the palace.

When Ling arrived, he was amazed at the variety of plants grown by all the other youths. They were beautiful, in all shapes and sizes. Ling put his empty pot on the floor and many of the other kids laughed at him. A few felt sorry for him and just said, “Hey, nice try.”

When the emperor arrived, he surveyed the room and greeted the young people. Ling just tried to hide in the back.

“My, what great plants, trees and flowers you have grown,” said the emperor. “Today, one of you will be appointed the next emperor!”

All of a sudden, the emperor spotted Ling at the back of the room with his empty pot. He ordered him to come to the front. Ling was terrified. “The emperor knows I’m a failure! Maybe he will have me killed!”

When Ling got to the front, the Emperor asked his name. “My name is Ling,” he replied.

All the kids were laughing and making fun of him. The emperor asked everyone to quiet down. He looked at

Ling, and then announced to the crowd, “Behold your new emperor! His name is Ling!” Ling couldn’t believe it. Ling couldn’t even grow his seed. How could he be the new emperor?

Then the emperor said, “One year ago today, I gave everyone here a seed. I told you to take the seed, plant it, water it and bring it back to me today. But I gave you all boiled seeds which would not grow. All of you, except Ling, have brought me trees and plants, and flowers. When you found that the seed would not grow, you substituted another seed for the one I gave you. Ling was the only one with the courage and honesty to bring me a pot with my seed in it. Therefore, he is the one who will be the new leader!”

This is a metaphor for life. Each of us was given his or her “seed,” his or her body, psyche and soul. The saddest thing you can do is try to mimic other people because you dislike your own seed; to live your life based on other people’s expectations, so that you gain their approval and feel successful, even if that means repressing your own seed and using the seed of another. Only when you become completely honest with your own condition and reality, confessing that your seed has grown nothing, can you truly make something of yourself and become a genuine source of leadership and inspiration to yourself, and others.

The Baal Shem Tov said “G-d desires your heart” – your raw, naked truth, more than anything else. It is what your children need most, too. No fancy toys or fun trips — those are good but it is not what they really need. They need your sincerity and your truth.

Rabbi Tzvi Dechter is the director of Chabad of North Broward Beaches, located in the Venetian Isle Shopping Center at 2025 E. Sample Rd. in Lighthouse Point. For all upcoming events, please visit www.JewishLHP.com.

By Emily Rosen

ERosen424@aol.com

www.emilyrosen424.com

How many ways are there to talk about love without being repetitious? That has been my annual challenge for over a decade. So my angle this year is condemnation of the very loving intent of the sacred Golden Rule — “Treat people the way you’d like them to treat you,” which is the modern interpretation as posed by GRO (www.thegoldenrule.net). Actually, if we follow that directive blindly, we are committing an act, in some instances, of extreme selfishness.

Wait wait wait! Before you throw me into the pyre, hear me out.

Certainly, there is the desire to be treated with respect, but the word treat in this context covers a plethora of peopled interactions, some of which are multi-layered. Example: A boyfriend presents his long-time “main squeeze” with a huge bunch of flowers for a romantic occasion. She had spoken to him of her allergies to flowers, but he wasn’t exactly into listening. In this instance, he was treating her with the love and kindness he would have wanted reciprocally, perhaps in a more gender-appropriate offering. It was received with feigned appreciation and the recognition that he hadn’t heard her.

What she had really wanted from him was to have been heard. Sure, she could then have told him the truth and, this time, be heard; and she may well have done so, but there’s that little nuance of wanting to be treated (listened to) the first time around.

Being heard is really a metaphor for being known. People in close relationships want to be known by the important people in their lives, as in, “Hey! This is the real me – the me I want to be loved for – not the me you love because you have fantasized some combined ideal of me and who you want me to be.” This, of course, is taking the flower tale to an extreme, but there are so many similar situations where people with good intentions treat others without any emotional input into how that other person really wants to be treated.

Quick story: My sister and I had a bachelorette apartment in Manhattan eons ago. We shared laundry chores. I’d fold hers and place the items neatly in her drawer. She’d flatten mine on top of the dresser. I fumed every time I had to fold and place my items in my drawer. One day, I found her taking her items out of her drawer, and she turned to me, saying, “I hate the way you fold my stuff, and I hate how you put them away for me.”

We laughed. We straightened it out. Neither of us had “done unto” the other the way each of us wanted to be “done unto.” We loved each other, but we had gone our own separate ways for so many years that it took time for us to really get to know each other again.

The word love is bandied about carelessly and sometimes meaninglessly. To really love someone is to know the essence, the soul, the inner workings of that person; to know and to accept all that, and to make it a part of who you are.

Happy Valentine’s Day!

By Rachel Galvin

Fashionistas from around South Florida came out to the Delray Fashion Week Jan. 25-29. Created by the Downtown Development Authority and Downtown merchants, the festivities included multiple fashion shows, a Stiletto Race, Boutique Pop-Up Shopping event, a white party, fashion luncheon and more. The week culminated with a Swim & Surf show at Old School Square featuring some great jams from Spider Cherry. For more photos, visit www.observernewspaperonline.com. For more information on the event, visit www.delrayfashionweek.com.