There has been a wonderful movie in a few theatres in the area recently called “The Intouchables.” This was not “The Untouchables.” It had nothing to do with Elliot Ness or the old gangs that he cracked down on, and, it had nothing to do with India’s the “Untouchables,” those on the bottom of the social caste system there.

Then again, maybe it did. You see, the movie was about a man who was paralyzed below the neck, and, let’s face it, all too often, if someone is paralyzed, or ill, or way up in years, or, dare I say, “different,” many people are afraid, not just to touch them, but to have any contact with them at all.

“The Intouchables” was based on a true story about a very special relationship that develops between this man and the one he opts to take on as his private duty aide. His choice might surprise you, but the relationship that develops between them is something that never ceases to amaze me.

So often I am called in to try to get someone to see the importance of their getting a private duty aide; and, so often, the person I am talking to tells me a horror story about this or that friend or neighbor who hired someone who was awful, someone who was constantly on the phone building up an absurd long-distance bill and not paying attention to the person they were supposed to care for, someone who kept going out to get an item from the store, not to be seen or heard from again for hours at a time, someone who was mean and nasty, someone who lashed out and yelled at the very person they were supposed to be taking care of.

We’ve all heard such stories. People are quick to share such experiences with us. But, I get to see the other side of the coin. So often, just like in the movie, I have seen a love and compassion develop between a person and their caregiver… an unbreakable bond.

And, when such a bond exists, I have seen the caregiver yelled at in the midst of bad times, lashed out at in the midst of pain and frustration. But the angelic caregiver is able to miraculously see that the anger, the shouting and the screaming is not really directed at them; it is really about the situation the one under their charge is going through, as they often feel like the main character in “The Intouchables,” trapped in their own bodies, unable to lift a finger for themselves.

It was just a couple of weeks ago that we read the Biblical story of Moses being told by G-d to speak to a rock and that, when he would speak to it, water would miraculously flow and everyone would have their thirst quenched.

Sadly, Moses did not follow the directions quite as precisely as he should have. Instead of speaking to the rock, he lashes out at it. He hits it, not just once, but twice. Water still flows, but Moses had lost his patience in dealing with complaints. He lost his cool.

This loss of control over his anger keeps him from entering the Promised Land. You see, he did not have to lash out at the rock. He did not have to hit it to get water to flow and quench everyone’s thirst. All he had to do was speak to the rock.

Paul Simon wrote, “I am a Rock, I am an Island.” Sometimes, the people we work with or for seem to be just that. They seem to be a rock. Try speaking to the rock because Simon’s lyrics were wrong. Sometimes a rock does indeed feel pain.

Shalom My Friends,

Rabbi Craig H. Ezring

Rabbi Ezring is a member of the National Association of Jewish Chaplains and serves in this capacity in a number of healthcare settings in the area, including Advocate Home Care Services and L’Chayim Jewish Hospice in Partnership with Catholic Hospice of Broward County.