The woman had just been through an unexpected emergency heart procedure. The doctor was able to do what needed to be done but her blood pressure was now going back and forth from being dangerously low to dangerously high and back again.

I was called by the family, one of whom I know quite well. They were in need of some spiritual support, of a listening presence. After being greeted by the family in the surgical waiting room and giving hugs all around, I went in to see the matriarch of the family.

I had never met her before, but she had heard about me from one of her children. She was in some obvious discomfort, perhaps more from the fact that she could not sit up for several hours or, perhaps from actual pain, although the morphine she was getting had probably taken a good deal of the edge off of that. And, of course, there was the emotional and spiritual pain she was dealing with.

During my relatively short time with her she opened up about many things and, yes, we kibitzed a bit because laughter is good medicine.

Our visit was coming to an end and I usually save the recitation of a healing prayer for the end of such visits. Now that I knew some of what this woman had been through, I could personalize the prayer, I could create a prayer that would have more meaning to her. But, I also wanted to add her to my mishaberach list, the list of people to include in the prayer for healing that we recite at temple. And so I asked for her Hebrew name, which she gave me.

I held her hand for a moment and gave her a soft and gentle kiss on the keppe (the head). As I was washing up (per Universal Precautions), she asked if I could also make a mishaberach for her granddaughter. I asked her what was wrong and she told me that her grandchild was just diagnosed with cancer and would be starting chemo.

I added her Hebrew name to the list for prayer and again bid the woman adieu. But she had another request. “Rabbi, could you also say a mishaberach for my son?” It winds up that her son lives up north and his house had been destroyed in the hurricane; on top of that, he had lost his job. Oy! And, believe it or not, she quickly added, “Oh Rabbi, one more thing” and I said, “You’re kidding me right?” But she wasn’t kidding; she needed her husband added to the list as he was dealing with prostate issues.

She asked me if she was being a pain, and I said, “Not at all” and I added, “In fact, I’m going to make it real easy, when I am at temple and we come to the healing prayer, I am just going to use your last name and say one for your entire family all at once and the same time.” This gave her a good laugh in the midst of her concern.

This woman is outer- focused. She is more concerned with her family’s issues then she is with her own; yet, she is bright enough to know that, in order to be there for them, she will need to take better care of herself.

May we all be blessed with such wisdom!

Shalom my friends,

Rabbi Craig H. Ezring

Rabbi Ezring is a member of the National Association of Jewish Chaplains and of the Association of Professional Chaplains, He works professionally in this capacity with a number of healthcare facilities in the area, and with hospice. He is the Spiritual Leader of Temple Beth Israel of Deerfield Beach.