During a recent trip to South Africa I was reminded of the beauty and power of dancing in worship. Along with a team of 30 others, we visited a small school in a rural area of Johannesburg to distribute clothing, toys and school supplies. The kindergarten-aged children delighted us with songs in their native language, to which they danced rhythmically and clapped their hands. Our team ministered in various churches on a Sunday, and we later traded stories of the exuberant dancing displayed during worship times. A visit to Mandela’s House in Soweto was memorable for the articles, photos, and history that it has preserved, but also for the groups of dancers who delighted visitors on the sidewalks in front of the home.

Dancing in worship is not new to many of our modern churches. Dance ministries and other artistic groups are part of numerous expressions of worship and praise in churches of all sizes and traditions. What differentiates what we have from what we observed in South Africa is the passion and intensity that was on display. And the fact that dancing was not relegated to an official group or ministry but everyone participated. I saw young children with happy feet, men who demonstrated remarkable agility as they jumped high and stooped low, and women whose heads, hips, knees and arms communicated joy and gratitude to God. No one was excluded and even members of our team joined in during a service at a Christian college where we facilitated two days of ministry training.

In Ecclesiastes, chapter 3, King Solomon surmised “To everything there is a season, a time for every purpose under heaven” (v.1). A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance” (v.4). Dancing is something that we learn early on in childhood. Even before words and sentences have been formally spoken, you can observe babies and toddlers swaying, bouncing, and nodding their heads to music. As we grow older we learn steps and movements that help to express our joy and happiness. Some have relegated dancing to the clubs, ballrooms, parties, and weddings. But many believers have learned to praise God by dancing in worship services at church.

The Bible presents dancing as an acceptable form of worship. It is even encouraged in several Psalms. At the successful crossing of the Red Sea, in Exodus 15, the people showed their gratitude in dance (v.20). “Then Miriam the prophetess, the sister of Aaron, took the timbrel in her hand; and all the women went out after her with timbrels and with dances.” In 2 Samuel 6, the ark of God was transported to Jerusalem with a great procession of praise. “Then David danced before the Lord with all his might” (v.14). He would later write a song of praise in Psalm 30 that included this declaration in verse 11, “You have turned for me my mourning into dancing.” Psalm 149:3 proclaims, “Let them praise His name with the dance.” And Psalm 150:4 adds, “Praise Him with the timbrel and dance.”

There are many ways to express the joy we feel and the gratitude we have for life’s blessings. There are different ways to worship and show reverence to God. Some offer respectful contemplation, while others engage joyful celebration. Both are appropriate and necessary forms of worship, and believers should be encouraged to embrace them equally. Thoughtful reflection is not reserved for the philosopher alone, neither is dancing the sole domain of the club DJ. We can all bow our heads in reverent worship at church but then there comes a time, in the service and in life, when we should feel free to just get up and dance.

Bishop Patrick L. Kelly is the pastor of Cathedral Church of God, 365 S. Dixie Hwy., Deerfield Beach, FL 33441. 954-427-0302.

By Gary Curreri

Pompano Beach’s Mimi Denoma recently won the Pompano Beach Women’s Golf Association’s Club Championship for 2017.

Denoma carded a 3-day total of 243 to edge out three-time club champion, Marianne Webber, who carded a 3-day total of 254. Denoma’s effort was even surprising to her.

“It was absolutely remarkable,” said Denoma, who carded three 81s in her tournament debut. “It was definitely a surprise. That’s the best I have played and my scoring was lower than it normally is.

“My putting was consistently good and I was also consistent off the tee,” said Denoma, who carries a 12-handicap. “I finished well on the green. I had a lot of good recovery shots. I was very steady.”

Denoma said she was pleased with the tournament officials and the club in making it a memorable event. She received roses, champagne glasses and will receive her trophy on Tuesday at the course.

“Everyone was very supportive,” said Denoma, who was paired with Webber on the final round at the Palms Course. The women split the first two days between the Palms and Pines courses. “It was wonderful. We all cheer for each other. It was a phenomenal group and a remarkable experience.”

Tiebreakers decided the winners in the Second and Third Flights as Georgie Wright won the Second Flight over Debi Ladig after posting a three-day total of 269, while Kathy Dunn captured the Third Flight with a 303 over Patti Van Zandt.

Roseanna Nixon fired a 309 to top Patty Davis, who carded a three-day total of 321 in winning the Fourth Flight.

Junior lifeguard registration starts Monday

Registration for Juniors and Grommets will be open starting Monday, March 20 at the Pompano Aquatic Center.

There will be four, two-week Sessions for Juniors (ages 9 to 17): The first session will be June 12 to June 23, while the second session will be from June 26 to July 7. There will be no camp on July 5, however camp will be held on July 4.

“Session II is the ‘Competition Camp’ that is open to all Juniors,” said Nemia Schulte, President of the Pompano Beach Junior Lifeguard Association.

“It will be more hard core than the other camps as this is designed to train those who plan to compete at the United States Lifeguard Association (USLA) competitions.”

The other two sessions will run from July 10-21 (Session III) and July 24-Aug. 4 (Session IV).

There will be four, one-week Sessions for Grommets (ages 7 to 8): Session I is June 19 to June 23; Session II is June 26 to June 30; Session III is from July 17 to July 21 and Session IV is July 31 to August 4.

The registration and camp session fees will remain the same as last year at $150 for residents, and $200 for non-residents (for Junior Lifeguard) and $75 for residents and $100 for non-residents (for Grommets Program).

Schulte said all 2016 Juniors would not need to re-take the swim tests unless they are going from the Grommet program to the Junior Lifeguard Program. All Grommets will need to take the swim tests and swim tests will also begin on March 20 at the Pompano Aquatic Complex during pool hours.

For more information contact Schulte at nemia2000@aol.com.

By “Cinema” Dave

http://cinemadave.livejournal.com

Shirley MacLaine returns to the big screen tomorrow in The Last Word, which co-stars (and co- produced by) Amanda Seyfried. A serious movie with humorous overtones, The Last Word will be a hit in the community.

Kong Skull Island was an international hit with box office gross exceeding over $160 million in three days. Compared to the full-court press that Disney marketing is providing for Beauty and the Beast, the marketing for Kong Skull Island has been modest. Fortunately, the movie exceeds marketing hype.

Perhaps a sequel to the 1933 Son of Kong, this new film opens in 1944 when a Japanese and American aviator crash land on the mysterious island. Their petty fight is abated when Kong makes an appearance and stuns the soldiers.

Almost 30 years later, Professor Randa (John Goodman) from the Monarch Organization requests to visit this mysterious island. The Vietnam War is ending and Randa would like to study Skull Island before the Soviet Union finds out about it. Besides recruiting Lieutenant Packard (Samuel L. Jackson) and his helicopter squad, Randa recruits Marlow (John C. Reilly) as well as Mason Weaver (Brie Larson), a photojournalist.

When the scientific expedition starts dropping bombs on the island, Kong is angered and brings down the helicopters. Divided across the island, the survivors attempt reunification, only to discover that Kong is the least of their problems.

Indiana Jones and Jurassic World fans will get their money’s worth. Kong Skull Island is part of the “MonsterVerse” series that began three years ago with the reboot of Godzilla. Unlike Godzilla, when the monster was hidden until the final 20 minutes of the film, Kong is front and center throughout.

With the exception of subterranean terrors that lurk on Skull Island, there are no outright villains in this film. Samuel L. Jackson is the most aggressive human character, but the script creates empathy for the character’s desire for revenge. Upon further review, the wrath of Kong is not caused by military aggression, but by scientific arrogance. Beyond big-sized epic adventure, Kong Skull Island contains a narrative with much intellectual depth.

“So He humbled you, allowed you to hunger, and fed you with manna which you did not know nor did your fathers know, that He might make you know that man shall not live by bread alone; but man lives by every word that proceeds from the mouth of the Lord.” — Deuteronomy 8:3 (NKJV)

As a Lutheran, I do observe Lent and I do choose to abstain from a food or behavior once a year for 40 days. Now, this isn’t a great accomplishment worthy of boasting. But I can say that I look forward to Lent every year and embrace this challenge as a divine opportunity. And regardless of whether you observe Lent, taking some time to challenge yourself in this manner may be a joyful time of spiritual growth. Yes, reader, I used the words “Lent “and “joy” in the same sentence.

Lent simulates Jesus’ journey into the desert for 40 days following his Baptism and preceding his three year ministry. Jesus took 40 days to fast and put himself in harm’s way of temptation. And, of course, the tempter did show up and his first temptation was to turn stone into bread. It was within this context that Jesus quoted Deuteronomy 8:3, “One does not live by bread alone.”

These words have a special meaning to me and, for those who have heard my story, I apologize. I write this for the benefit of others. I received a blessing and I want to share it, as blessings are meant to be.

Before I continue with my story, let me share something that will make my story make more sense. All my life I have struggled with food. I have had successes and failures but I am afraid my failures outweigh my successes. But the one thing my wife and I were able to do was instill in our children a healthier understanding of food. As a result, they have been spared of this particular “thorn in the side,” if you will.

I had a chance to spend my birthday with my son at Walt Disney World. We planned to divide our time between EPCOT and Animal Kingdom. I chose EPCOT because of the restaurants. We would choose a time and place to eat and the whole day would revolve around it. Food was the axis upon which the entire day would spin.

I asked my son “Where would you like to eat?”

He said, “Let’s stop by and get a couple of subs. We will eat one half for lunch and the other half between EPCOT and the Animal Kingdom.”

My first thought was: “What about my birthday meal?” My second thought was, “I have taught him well. Now it is time for ME to internalize the message.”

I said, “Sure, Nate, that sounds great.”

I discovered that Nate’s primary question was about rides and fast passes. Food was the last thing on his mind and the first thing on mine. But, today, I would honor his request. I did ask him if we could sit down for a cup of coffee and visit. He was happy with that idea and we did.

I share this story with you because that was probably one of the best times I ever had at Walt Disney World. I learned something from my son’s example. Yes, a parent can learn a lot from a child. And that is this most important lesson. The quality of a meal is not determined by what is on your plate but by the person who is sitting across the table.

Regardless of our faith tradition, we all hunger and thirst for something in our lives that simply cannot be satisfied by food. Some of us are still learning that lesson the hard way. I have found Lent as the perfect opportunity to find out what that “something” is. And when I do find that something, it may not satisfy my stomach but it will satisfy my soul.

It is my prayer that we all take the spiritual journey that leads us to that something that satisfies our soul. And when we find it, we will discover that we are not fasting from food but feasting on that something that satisfies the soul.

Pastor Gross is a pastor of Zion Lutheran Church, located at 959 SE 6 Ave., Deerfield Beach, FL 33441. For more information, call 954-421-3146 or visit www.zion-lutheran.org.

By “Cinema” Dave

http://cinemadave.livejournal.com

As I write this week’s column, news is breaking that the host of Turner Classic Movies (TCM) Robert Osborne has passed away. A film historian with personal relationships from motion pictures’ golden age of movie stars, Osborne’s persona was a major influence upon this film columnist. Regardless of the film he introduced (classic film, an Oscar winner, a historical curiosity), Osborne had a knack of bringing a fresh perspective to a film he had seen countless times. TCM co-host Ben Mankiewicz will follow in Osborne’s footsteps, but the young host has big shoes to fill.

The passing of the torch is a major theme of Logan, this week’s box office champion. A culmination of seven X Men and two Wolverine movies, Logan takes place 22 years into a dystopian future. After decades of saving the world from hostile forces, Logan, a.k.a. Wolverine (Hugh Jackman) lives in an abandoned oil field with his old mentor Professor X (Patrick Stewart), who is suffering from Alzheimer’s disease.

Wishing to live his final years in peace, Logan is confronted by a woman who has read too many X-Men comic books. The woman wants Logan to take a special little girl to Eden, which is found in Canada. Unwilling to become involved at first, Logan learns that Pierce (Boyd Holbrook) and Professor Zander Rice (Richard E. Grant) have devious plans for the little girl and her “special” friends.

Starting with Bela Lugosi in Dracula and concluding 17 years later with Abbott and Costello Meet Frankenstein, Universal Pictures created memorable monster movies that have enthralled many generations. It has been 17 years since Hugh Jackman first portrayed Wolverine. In Logan, he is provided a final curtain call for his duties as an X-Man. Logan is a current classic on the big screen.

The Women’s Balcony opens this weekend at neighborhood theaters. In Hebrew with English subtitles, The Women’s Balcony is a comedy/drama. While attending a bar mitzvah, the women’s balcony collapses in the middle of the ceremony. When it looks like the temple will be closed for a long period of time, a new rabbi quickly comes to the rescue of the worshipers. Unfortunately, he is more like the pied piper.

The temple opens quickly, but the women’s balcony is not restored. Being more orthodox than his predecessor, the rabbi wants the women to cover their heads to display their modesty. Naturally, the modern women rebel.

Unlike the angry protests that we see on the news every day, The Women’s Balcony has an infectious sweetness that will make the ticket buyer smile.

There’s an old MAD TV sketch in which Mo Collin’s character seeks professional help for her fear of being buried alive in a box—confessing that just thinking about it makes her life horrible because she can’t go through tunnels or be inside an elevator or house — anything “boxy.” Her psychologist, played by Bob Newhart, quickly recognizes her irrational worry, leans forward from behind his desk and abruptly shouts, “Stop it!”

Oh, how apropos these two words are to Christendom, specifically in how we love others.

The first time I wanted to yell, “Stop it,” was to a guy becoming a pastor. I was in my early 20s, hungry for spiritual growth. I was excited about having been invited to join a small group of men who gathered at Chick-fil-A — obviously — for breakfast and Jesus.

This soon-to-be-pastor sat across from me and asked about my faith. I was elated! Even though I had been raised in church, it wasn’t until now that I was eager to share my personal journey with Christ. Straitening my back, and hardly pausing to breathe, I laid my heart on the table, right next to my chicken.

Interrupting, he asked, “Wait, you’ve already accepted Christ?” He explained that his assignment required him to introduce 10 people to Jesus, and since I already knew Jesus, he stood up and moved to a different table. He didn’t want to know my story — or know me. It was clear; he cared only about himself and his grade.

Romans 12:9-11 states, “Don’t just pretend to love others. Really love them … Love each other with genuine affection, and take delight in honoring each other. Never be lazy, but work hard and serve the Lord enthusiastically.”

In his book Love Does, Bob Goff recalls a decision to leave high school and spend his days climbing the cliffs in Yosemite. A youth leader of his, Randy, decided to tag along with Bob for the first part of the journey for no other reason than to just be with Bob. It ended how you probably imagined. With no education or job, Bob was forced to return home within a week, Randy at his side never chastising Bob or saying, “I told you so.” When they arrived back to Randy’s home, Bob realized that Randy was a newlywed. Bob couldn’t believe that Randy cared enough — believed in him enough — to press pause on his own life for Bob.

Bob said, “Randy didn’t see just a high school kid who had disrupted the beginning of his marriage. He saw a kid who was about to jump the tracks. Instead of spending his early days of his marriage with his bride, he spent it with me … Why? It was because Randy loved me. He saw the need and he did something about it. He didn’t just say he was for me or with me. He was actually present with me.”

Bob said, “That’s what love does! It’s sacrificial, which was modeled by our God — at a great cost!”

Jesus says in John 15:13 that “there is no greater love than to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.”

What does it take to have this kind of love? Relationship: First a real relationship with God and second with people. Knowing God intimately will allow you to understand real love and be sincere when loving others. Conversely, a counterfeit love boasts all the right elements of a legitimate relationship but fails to make a difference in the person’s life.

In That Crumpled Paper Was Due Last Week: Helping Disorganized and Distracted Boys Succeed in School and Life, author Ana Homayoun shares about a frustrated mom concerned for her son’s lack of school engagement. While the mom thought the issue was solely the son’s, Ana discovered that the mom had recently been through a divorce and failed to consider how the new family dynamic might impact her son’s school performance. Upon digging deeper than the symptom, the real issue was revealed. Now the mom and son have a stronger relationship. That’s what love does … anything less, stop it!

C.J. Wetzler is the NextGen pastor at First Baptist Church of Deerfield Beach. Before transitioning into full-time ministry, CJ was a commercial airline captain and high school leadership and science teacher. For questions or comments he can be reached at cj@deerfieldfirst.com.

By Gary Curreri

While there were heavy hearts at the recent South Florida International Water Polo Tournament, the event went off without a hitch.

“It was a great event,” said South Florida Water Polo head coach Michael Goldenberg, whose organization hosted the 15th annual event from Feb. 17-19 at two pools — Pompano Beach Aquatic Center and the Coral Springs Aquatic Complex. “As usual because nothing less than that is expected.”

The South Florida water polo community was reeling with the losses of Stefano Dioguardi and Andre Williams, both long-time members of the SFWP (South Florida Water Polo Club).

Dioguardi passed away in July after a year-long battle with Cancer, while Williams was killed in the motorcycle accident in December.

“This year has been a tough year for the club with the loss of the two players,” Goldenberg said. “We dedicated this year’s tournament to raising funds for the Forzastefano Foundation in memory of Stefano and for a sea turtles rescue and preservation foundation in memory of Andre.”

The 15th annual South Florida Water Polo International Tournament attracted 22 clubs from nine countries (Bahamas, Barbados, Canada, Georgia, Hungary, Peru, Puerto Rico, Trinidad and Tobago and the USA.

The USA representatives included teams from five states (California, Florida, New York, Missouri and Washington DC). This marked the first year the event was split between two pools in two different cities.

The South Florida Water Polo Club (1998 birth year) boys defeated Gigantes de Carolina (Puerto Rico) in Championship game, 10-5, while the South Florida Water Polo Club (2001 birth year) boys edged the Encantada Water Polo (Puerto Rico) in Championship game, 8-7.

In the 1998 girls, Hialeah (Miami) took first, while Gigantes de Carolina (PR) was second and South Florida Water Polo Club took third. In the 2003 Coed division, Coronado (California), won the events.

“I have to send ‘a great thank you’ to all athletes and parents of South Florida Water Polo Club for volunteering their time and soul to hosting this event,” Goldenberg said. “Without them, the success would not be possible.”

For more information on the Forza Stefano Charitable Foundation, visit www.forzastefano.org.

Defending State Champ Colts Top Bucks

The Deerfield Beach High School boys’ basketball team was less than a minute away from ending the season of the defending Class 9A state champions.

With 51 ticks on the clock left and leading by four in the Region 3-9A semifinals, the visiting Bucks had Coral Springs on the ropes.

Jelani Heard converted a couple of free throws and Wilvens Fleurizard closed out the game with the final four points of the night with a steal and lay-up with two seconds left to give Coral Springs a 47-44 victory.

The Colts, which defeated Deerfield in the district championship after losing both regular season games to the Bucks, went on to fall to Wellington in the regional final.

By “Cinema” Dave

http://cinemadave.livejournal.com

Despite what presenter Faye Dunaway said Sunday night, Moonlight did win the Best Picture Oscar for 2016. In under two hours, writer/director Barry Jenkins shares a slice of South Florida culture through the eyes of a child, a teenager and an adult through three chapters of a larger narrative. Moonlight earned its honor through impressive storytelling and character development, a skill Barry Jenkins earned when he attended Florida State University, College of Motion Picture Arts. Congrats, Moonlight cast & crew.

On the Map opens tomorrow with a unique South Florida connection. Twelve years ago, Director Dani Menken appeared at the Palm Beach International Film Festival. As a producer, Menken earned the Best Documentary for 39 Pounds of Love, which features Ami Ankilewitz, an American-born Israeli who was diagnosed with a rare form of Muscular Dystrophy who likes to party. In contrast, On the Map features the growth of professional athletes in Israel.

After World War II ended, the American sport of basketball grew as an international sport in Italy, Spain and the Soviet Union. Given the terrorist actions of the 1972 Munich Olympics, the story about the Soviet Union stealing the Gold Medal from Team USA became a mere footnote. Five years later, young Israel (a nation state less than three decades old) confronted the International Champion Soviet Union in an epic basketball game.

Told with grainy home movies and audio supplied by reel-to-reel tape recorders, On the Map retells the epic David & Goliath story about Israel’s Maccabi Tel Aviv basketball team.

Now 40 years later, the teammates reunite and celebrate their amazing victory. The memories are sharp and this story truly comes alive.

If you love the sport of basketball, get out of the house and check out On the Map on the big screen.

Kedi also opens tomorrow and will surely inspire cat lovers. Set in Istanbul, this unique documentary shows the symbiotic relationship between the urban dwellers and the cats. Like a National Geographic/Wild Kingdom documentary, Kedi captures kitty cats in a natural habitat demonstrating primal behavior.

It is ironic that people choose animation animals (like Oscar winner Zootopia) over natural animals at the movie box office. However Kedi provides many short stories about individual cats. The film pays off during the curtain call in which we revisit each of these cats and we remember each one of their stories.

March is predicted to be a box office bonanza with the releases of Logan, Kong Skull Island and Beauty and the Beast, respectively. However, don’t lose sight of the fine documentaries — On the Map and Kedi.

There was a rabbi known for his constant preaching about the need to nurture children with warmth and love.

One time he noticed some children who were playing in the freshly laid concrete outside his newly renovated home, their little feet leaving lasting impressions. He became irritated and started chastising the children.

A congregant asked, “How can you, a person who devoted his entire life to teaching warmth to children, speak this way?”

To which the rabbi replied: “You must understand. I love children in the abstract, not the concrete.”

Who can love?

Where is the first time the term “love” is mentioned in the entire Torah? Who is the first lover in the Bible?

No, it is not Adam and Eve. It’s not even Abraham and Sarah. I am sure they loved each other, but the term “love” is not mentioned.

The first time we discover “love” in the Torah is “G-d said to Abraham… take your son, your only son [from Sarah], whom you love, Isaac, and offer him as a burnt offering.”

Note: It is not saying that Abraham loved Isaac; it is saying that G-d testifies that Abraham loves Isaac. That must have been some intense love!

Now, where is the second time love is mentioned in Torah?

It is in the following portion: “Isaac married Rebecca and he loved her.”

The subtle message being conveyed is clear. What many psychologists and spiritual and self-help books now explain is intimated in this profound sequence in the Torah. Abraham loves Isaac. Isaac loves Rebecca. He who is loved is capable of loving. Isaac was loved; hence he was able to impart love.

Fascinating: This pattern continues throughout Genesis. The third time love is mentioned is the love of Rebecca to her son. Rebecca was loved and so she could love. The fourth time is Isaac’s love to his son, and so on.

Why is this so?

When I am loved, I feel confident about myself. I cherish my own innate value. I, thus, don’t always have to take; I can also give. If I feel unloved, I have a void which I always need to fill. I am forever parasitic. I am always craving your validation, your compliments, your respect, your gratitude, your appreciation, your attention and your approval. But when I feel that my essence is good, I am a lovable being. I can suspend myself and become attentive to you. I can create space for you.

Narcissists, who are self-absorbed 24/7, usually have a tremendous void in their self-value. They never felt genuine love. Their tank is on empty. They cannot afford being there for anyone, ever.

A young woman was being interviewed and said, “I am giving up dating.” The interviewer asked what caused her to take such a drastic measure. She replied, “The last man I met talked only of himself for two solid hours. And then he looked at me and said, ‘Enough of me talking about me. Tell me what you think of me.’”

What is more, if I feel unloved, I do not value my emotions. I can’t believe that my love means anything; I delegitimize my love, because I think I am valueless and certainly all my emotions have no value. It is even deeper. If I do not value my being, then, if I love you, I actually believe that it is wrong; because, if I love something, it must be bad since I, myself, am pretty bad and worthless.

Abraham loved Isaac. He loved his essence. Thus, Isaac could love.

Some have even suggested that this may be part of the story of Abraham sacrificing Isaac. At the fringe of losing his son, Abraham discovered how much he really loved him. This begins the miracle of the Jewish family, the infinite love between parents and children, which spanned millennia and has been the envy of the world.

What then do you do if you weren’t loved? The answer is what David says in Psalms 27; “My mother and father rejected me, but G-d took me in.”

You must find G-d’s unconditional love for you. You ought to discover the essential value of your being in G-d’s eyes. Birth is G-d saying you matter.

Much of our prayers revolve around this theme. G-d loves you, cherishes you, thinks the world of you, and begs of you to coronate Him as your king. He can’t think of you as too worthless if he really believes that all of history depends on you.

Rabbi Tzvi Dechter is the director of Chabad of North Broward Beaches, located in the Venetian Isle Shopping Center at 2025 E. Sample Rd. in Lighthouse Point. For all upcoming events, please visit www.JewishLHP.com.

By Emily Rosen

ERosen424@aol.com

www.emilyrosen424.com

I am a positive person, actually an optimist. I am not a complainer. If the soup isn’t hot enough, I don’t send it back; I slurp it anyway. If the gardener allows the branches from my trees to bend over onto the walkway, I take a pair of clippers and prune away. If the cashier at the dollar store checked out one dollar too many, I tend not to go back for my dollar. Two dollars? Maybe! If “they” predict rain on my beach day, I go anyway, knowing how wrong “they” can be. And when friends lie prostrate on the floor kicking and screaming about the election, I bring them a drink of water and a cold wash cloth and say, “Give it a chance.”

But here are two irritations that just won’t go away – and I AM complaining this time. Both have to do with noise. My hearing has recently been checked, and, for a tottering senior, it functions remarkably well. So I get seriously agitated with loud noises that interfere with my ability to hold a conversation.

The first culprit is the leaf blower. This may seem like paranoia, but I am certain that the Leaf Blowers Union has a schedule of my activities, and that the most persistent of them is assigned to me on a daily basis. My location doesn’t matter as long as it has a tree with falling leaves. Having a philosophical chat, or engaging in titillating gossip on anyone’s back-yard patio or even the most prestigious hotel grounds in any state, province or outlying other-world country, inevitably signals the arrival of “the leaf blower” followed closely, on my part, by a series of non-modulated “what”s?

The above is what I call an active transgression. The noise abatement issue that is more treacherously passive occurs in restaurants all over the world at the most popular hangouts. Of course, if you are European or South American and you are accustomed to dining more towards the midnight hour, you might not feel the stinging resentment of paying outrageous prices per person to scream at your companions or to play the ping pong game of “what, what and what?” By that hour, when your choice of entree has already been ingested to the max with no remaining pickings, the crowd has thinned, the service help anticipates release, you can get away with whispering conversations.

But for those of us who prefer to dine at the socially acceptable hours between 7 and 8 p.m. any day of the week — forgetaboutit!

Dismissing the probability that you have already waited beyond 10 minutes for your reserved table, once you are seated and anticipating a pleasant catch-up conversation with your companions, you will be wishing for a megaphone and/or hearing aids — that work.

But, I was warned early on that life is not fair. In a desperate appeal to higher educators, I offer to support any noise abatement program on your campus that can come up with what should be a simple solution, given that men have gone to the moon, and automobiles are now running without drivers.

So until someone takes me up on my offer, you will find me in the aisles of Publix, where shopping is indeed a quiet pleasure, purchasing ingredients for healthy meals at home – often with friends – and on track for becoming the hostess of the year.