By Rabbi Craig H. Ezring
I don’t know about you, but I love to people watch. In between the holidays, I had to take a trip to Whole Foods. Whole foods is all about things that are healthy for you and I love shopping there, but, I know people who will not keep kosher because they say it’s too expensive, and yet, I see them shopping at Whole Foods regularly, and in case you don’t know it, the foods there are not exactly cheap.
While there, three different people, not employees, just fellow shoppers, approached me to tell me why I shouldn’t buy this or that product that I had in my cart. One of the three was massively obese, another was so thin that I expect she was anorexic and the third ran through a litany of medical conditions that they suffer from. Yet, there they all were, telling me what I should and should not be eating in order to stay healthy.
I’ve been dealing with a bad back, but, even bent over, I looked more robust than all three of them combined.
It is so easy for us to look at someone else and decide what’s good for them. We are so sure of ourselves when deciding what’s right for someone else.
We are in the midst of the Festival of Sukkot where we build a Sukkah. Our sages teach us that Chupah rhymes with Sukkah. A Chupah is a wedding canopy. On Friday evenings, we chant prayer that tells us to greet the Sabbath bride. With this being Sukkot, I want to teach you something about this particular prayer.
You see, I run into a lot of people contemplating marriage. As I meet with them, especially during individual counsel, one partner may go over a series of reasons why they are concerned that the person they are thinking of getting married to may not be good enough for them. They are concerned that they might just be settling.
I worry about such fears. But imagine this — imagine if, instead of focusing on whether the person you’re with is good enough for you, what if you spend some time reversing the question. Maybe what you should be concerned about is … are you good enough for them?
After all, if you really love them, you don’t want them to just settle? You wouldn’t want that for yourself; so why on earth would you want that for them? There is an old saying among our people; when love is strong, a couple can sleep on the edge of the sword, but when love is soured even a bit of 60 miles does not give enough room.
I am a big fan of small Sukkot. If the family can eat together in peace, in a small flimsy hut in the backyard, if the family can invite guests to join them and break bread together in peace in that very same hut, there must be an awful lot of love there.
Each one there has to take the time to make sure that they are not infringing on another person’s space. Each person there must be careful with the words they speak. Each person there must think of what they can do to add to everyone else’s joy.
And that is my wish for each and every one of you dear readers; in the midst of Sukkot, may we all be blessed to live together in peace with ourselves, with our family and with each other; and, with that, we will indeed be filled with much joy in the year ahead.
Shalom my friends,
Rabbi Craig H. Ezring
Rabbi Ezring is the Spiritual Leader of Temple Beth Israel of Deerfield Beach, which is inviting Community Leaders and Residents to join on Oct. 22 at 1 p.m. to help them “Think Out of The Box” as they plan for the next 5 years of programs and projects that will enable them to continue to be part of the very heart and soul of our beloved Deerfield Beach. All Are Welcome! They need your creativity, wisdom and originality. They need the gift of your presence.