Do you remember the 2003 award-winning movie Anger Management, directed by Peter Segal, starring Jack Nicholson and Adam Sandler? Adam Sandler plays a businessman mistakenly sentenced to an anger management program. Jack Nicholson plays an aggressive anger management instructor.
It probably is not a good sign that anger is so common that millions of people will go see a movie just to laugh about it. It is also telling that the instructor in the movie had more difficulty controlling his anger than did his students. This is equivalent to a driver’s education instructor who cannot drive a car.
In the movie, this makes for comic relief. In the world, this makes for hypocrisy. Few people think anger is a good thing. It can make the blood boil and keep us awake at night. There is no way to be angry and have the peace of Christ. There is no way to be angry and share the peace of Christ.
Jesus teaches, “Let go. Get over the rage. Turn the page. Make peace even with your adversaries.” Letting go, not being mad, and making peace is hard.
I remember watching an interview of former Indiana University basketball coach Bob Knight, who once got so mad during a televised basketball game with Purdue University that he famously picked up the chair he was sitting on and threw it completely across the floor.
During the interview, Coach admitted he really did have a hard time controlling his temper. You may have heard the saying, “Don’t beat a dead horse.” Coach Knight’s wife told him once, “You can get off now, Bob. The horse is dead.”
Some things that make us mad are minor. We usually get over them quickly and move on. But some things that happen are life-altering and moving on is next to impossible. When we, or someone we deeply care about, is wronged in a serious way, it is not comparable to a bad call by a referee in a basketball game. Holding a grudge can be a natural reaction to a serious grievance.
It is important to point out Jesus does not say, “You do not have a reason to be angry.” He does not say, “You are not justified in being angry when you or someone you love suffers harm.” What Jesus teaches is “If you want to be forgiven, then you have to forgive too.”
Jesus arguably makes the “Don’t Stay Mad” doctrine even harder for us when he sets aside what is a popular notion — “Don’t get mad. Get even.” Unfortunately, Jesus rules out revenge too! Can you feel the disciple’s hill getting steeper to climb all the time? I can…
Christ’s teachings about forgiveness are drawn from the Personal Holiness Code in Leviticus, which reads “Do not seek revenge or bear a grudge against any of your people, but love your neighbor as yourself.”
More often quoted today, however, and also found in Leviticus, is the standard “An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth.” This principle is commonly misused as an excuse for retaliation when what it really calls for is that the scales of justice be in balance.
In other words, we don’t amputate the hand that shoplifts or stone adulterers to death, but we do want the punishment to fit the crime.
If you have a grievance, and you want to know how to turn the page and get over the rage or if you are fighting the instinct to get even, I encourage you to read Christ’s Sermon on the Mount (Matthew 5 – 7).
You can also join us Saturdays @ Six or Sunday morning at 8:30 or 11 a.m. Our series on Christ’s Sermon on the Mount continues with the message “Privacy Please” based on Matthew 6.
Reverend Andrews is Minister at Community Presbyterian Church of Deerfield Beach (Steeple on the Beach) located five blocks south of Hillsboro on AIA. See more @ www.communitych.org or on Facebook.
