It’s November and that means many of us will celebrate the Thanksgiving holiday. Many folks will gather with family members and enjoy a Thanksgiving feast. For others, it means the onset of “holiday blues” or feelings of sadness and depression.
Being thankful or grateful are ways we express feelings of appreciation. The difference between thankful and grateful is that thankful is an inward expression and grateful is an outward one.
Major benefits of being thankful and grateful:
Makes one happy
Opens door to more relationships
Improves physical and mental health
Strengthens one’s self esteem
Sleeping habits improve
Makes one optimistic
Enhances empathy
Two topic related patient stories follow, and, after reading them, I ask that you reflect upon what you are thankful and grateful for in your life.
Mary’s story
Mary is a psychotherapy patient of mine that initially contacted me because she found out that she was unable to become pregnant. She and her husband had numerous medical tests to diagnose her inability to conceive. After this news, Mary quickly became withdrawn from her husband and believed that she was depressed.
Mary told me that she always dreamed of getting married and having lots of children. With the current news, she was convinced that her husband would leave her in order to find a new partner who could conceive and give him children.
After a few months of therapy sessions, the couple acknowledged the reality, the sadness and the potential possibilities of their situation. Mary and her husband are currently investigating adoption programs in order to have the large family they want. Mary and her husband are thankfulthat they have the option to consider adopting children and they are grateful that psychotherapy allows them to have the space to express their feelings about each other, adopting children and parenting.
Tim’s story
Tim was a 17 year-old senior at a local Boca Raton High School. He was accepted to a prestigious college along with a tennis scholarship. Tim has a great family, was a stellar high school student, an athlete, enjoyed his social life and had a healthy approach to eating food, and was physically active.
Tim was also complaining of right knee pain and had an examination with his primary care physician. Tim was diagnosed with Juvenile Idiopathic Arthritis (JIP). He had severe inflammation and joint damage in his right knee.
Tim took this news poorly and became depressed. Tim’s parents asked him to meet with me for his depression. He agreed, and the first thing he said to me when we met at my office was “My life is over! I am disappointing so many people because I have a damaged knee.”
Tim and I discussed many facets of his life during therapy sessions. We defined the new limits of his right knee and discussed acceptance of JIP, swimming as an alternative to playing tennis, his family and personal relationships, managing depression and his overall connection to his thoughts, feelings and behaviors.
Fast forward: Tim graduated from college and is now in medical school. He teaches tennis lessons to children and speaks regularly for the Arthritis Foundation on JIP. Tim is thankfulthat knowledgeable, supportive, caring and loving people helped him through his diagnosis of JIP and grateful for having a better understanding that life is a wonderful journey worth living that includes unexpected experiences. Tim demonstrates that change is possible.
Dr. Julia Breur is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist with a private clinical psychotherapy practice in Boca Raton. Her website is www.drjuliabreur.com. For more information, e-mail info@drjuliabreur.com or call 561-512-8545.
