Bullying has existed since the beginning of time. This is the digital age and today bullying no longer simply happens in one’s personal space. One can be cyber-bullied from thousands of miles away over the Internet using e-mail or text messaging, or using Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, and many other Internet sites. With so many ways to bully others, it is getting more difficult than ever to control it, and to protect and save victims. What exactly is bullying, who are bullies and what are their motivations, and why are certain individuals targeted? Let’s explore these questions.

Let’s define bullying:

It is unwanted, aggressive and repetitive behavior that involves a real or perceived power imbalance, such as physical strength or access to private, or embarrassing, information to control or harm an individual. Bullying includes actions such as threats, spreading rumors, attacking someone physically or verbally, and purposely excluding someone from a group.

Three types of bullying:

Verbal: Saying or writing mean things by teasing, name-calling, saying inappropriate sexual comments, or taunting and threatening to harm.

Physical: Hurting a person’s body or possessions by hitting, kicking, pinching, tripping, pushing, spitting, breaking someone’s possessions and making inappropriate hand gestures.

Social or relational: Hurting someone’s reputation or relationships by leaving someone out of a group activity, telling others not to be friends with someone, spreading rumors and publicly embarrassing someone.

Who is the bully?

Bullies come from all walks of life, all ages, genders, races and from all parts of the world. Bullies are often people who have been bullied or abused themselves, and turn to being powerful using fear tactics as a way to gain respect from people who look up to them. There are also new studies that show that bullies have excellent self-esteem and usually have a sense of entitlement, and lack social skills and impulse control.

Who are the victims?

People who bully tend to look for victims over whom they believe they have power. Bullies pick on others who are shy, socially isolated, insecure or different in the way they look or act compared to the norm.

No one deserves to be bullied and many victims feel shame or embarrassment that they have been bullied, so often try to hide it. The victims of bullying often feel badly and see themselves as deserving of the bully’s attention.

Who is the bully-victim?

Some individuals fit both the role of bully and victim and are defined as such. Generally, from a behavioral and emotional point of view, bullies experience behavioral issues; victims experience emotional issues; bully-victims experience both behavioral and emotional issues. Studies show that the bully-victim generally experiences the most problems and has the highest risk of adverse outcomes.

What can we all do?

If a person is being bullied, they should tell someone, such as a parent, a teacher or a police officer. The person being told must then take action to stop the behavior. Psychotherapy can help get to the root of the issue and help the victim recover, and help the bully change their actions and behavior.

Bullying is a serious issue and must be stopped, as it has proven to have lasting psychological effects on the victims and the bullies as well. There is help for victims, bullies and anyone who knows that bullying is going on. Do not be a bystander; it is everyone’s responsibility to help stop bullying – change is possible! For more information, go to www.stopbullying.gov.

Dr. Julia Breur is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist with a private clinical psychotherapy practice in Boca Raton. Further Information is available at www.drjuliabreur.com.

Hurricanes Harvey, Irma and Maria have demonstrated why we must take every precaution whenever a storm threatens. We had scarcely come to terms with the devastating impact of Harvey on areas of Texas and Louisiana, when meteorologists began informing us that another, potentially more powerful hurricane was forging a path towards South Florida. Scenes of wind battered homes, downed powerlines, rising flood waters and boats flung onto shore struck fear in many hearts. State and local officials began warning residents to evacuate the most vulnerable areas, to stock up on water and other supplies, and to secure their properties from possible damage.

Almost immediately water disappeared from store shelves and gas stations were bombarded by long lines of cars. Home supply stores struggled to keep up with the demand for plywood, and contractors began working longer hours to accommodate calls for help in securing homes.

The level of preparation and response was tremendous. It is estimated that well over a million people heeded the advice to evacuate, and the clogged traffic on I-75 North and the Turnpike gave evidence to the concern of the public. There were even power and utility companies from other states making preparation to aid Florida once the storm had passed.

Thankfully, for the most part, Florida avoided the worst of Irma’s fury. Any loss of life is always regrettable, and the destruction in the Keys was heartbreaking to observe. The storm is gone, however, and there is time now to reflect and put things into perspective even as we rebuild, resume and restore. Storms of nature, particularly hurricanes, can be forecast, but they are largely unpredictable. No one can say for certain what path they will take, and what intensity they will arrive with. All we can do, as our governor repeatedly warned, is to expect the best but prepare for the worst. Storms of life (adversity, setback or heartbreak) are also unavoidable and unpredictable, but we should equally take precautions to minimize their impact as well.

While it is easy to secure windows with plywood and shutters, our hearts and emotions cannot be ‘covered’ in the same way. A hard heart and disconnected attitude are antithetical to the normative human experience. We need something more akin to hurricane-impact windows and doors that negate the need to cover-up during an approaching storm. Able to withstand powerful wind forces, they are made to protect while offering the intended function of allowing light in and visibility out.

How does one reinforce the heart and emotions to be able to survive the storms of life? Take time to cultivate and appreciate the relationships that matter most in your life. A devoted spouse, loving family and committed friends are indispensable aids to staying grounded during trying times. A fine house, fancy car, and even money, are unable to comfort the anguish of a bruised spirit. We were designed to fellowship with others and we will need them when the storms come. Proverbs 17:17 tells us, “A friend loveth at all times, and a brother is born for adversity.”

Faith is also an invaluable asset to the strength of the heart and mind. Despite our knowledge and understanding, there are still things beyond our comprehension and control. Believers have settled on the fact that there is someone greater than ourselves, who holds our lives in His hands. It is comforting to put your trust in a God you cannot see but whose presence you can feel. “God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble. Therefore, will not we fear, though the earth be removed and carried into the midst of the sea; though the waters therefore roar and be troubled, though the mountains shake with the swelling thereof… The Lord of hosts is with us; the God of Jacob is our refuge.” With this kind of protection in place we can survive the storms of life.

Bishop Patrick L. Kelly is the pastor of Cathedral Church of God, 365 S. Dixie Hwy., Deerfield Beach, FL 33441. 954-427-0302.

First and foremost, my prayers are with our whole community as we recover from Hurricane Irma. This ordeal has brought the community together and, together, we will get through this. I think that it is safe to say, it could have been worse and we should be grateful that the projections that we feared did not come to full fruition. That being said, there was a lot of loss. And while we pray prayers of gratitude, we also pray for those who lost a lot, including our neighbors who took the hit directly in the Florida Keys, the Everglades and the Naples area [and the Caribbean and elsewhere].

I also want to say to all of the first responders, emergency workers, those working to restore power, news reporters, or anyone else who worked around the clock to and through the storm, thank you. Hurricanes remind us of who the real heroes are and God used these brave men and women to keep us safe through the worst part of the storm. God bless you and the work you do.

I have served 21 of my 23 years of ministry in Florida and I have seen my share of hurricanes and tropical storms. I have to say, this one had me scared more than any. I can say that hurricanes have the tendency to put things in perspective. It takes a mortal threat to realize that some things we deem as important really are not that important and the things that are important, like life, family and friends, cannot be replaced. We know the difference between a problem and a nuisance. It is a problem to lose your home; it is a nuisance to lose your cable.

I wish I could say that my first hurricane put things in perspective for me and they have remained their ever since. But when the storm passes, the dust settles, the branches and debris are cleared away and the power comes back on, things go back to normal. After normal comes, comfort follows, as well as contentment. It doesn’t take long before one finds oneself taking things for granted.

The night I went to bed and the power was out, I prayed to God a prayer that I didn’t intend to sound like I was bargaining with God. In hindsight, I think I did. But it went something like this: “God, if you spare the life of my family and my home, I will be eternally grateful and never forget.” The hurricane passed, the power came back on, the shower was warm, the air conditioning was cool, water was cold, coffee was hot and all was looking good. The gratitude was abundant, just not eternal.

First came normal, then came comfort followed by contentment. And then the old habit of taking things for granted set in. One of my children cried out in anguish: “Where is the Wifi?” Really? You just survived a hurricane and you are complaining about Wifi? And then I turned on the television which I had set to record a football game playing on a network not preempted by hurricane coverage. No electricity, no cable, no DVR, no football. And then I cried out in anguish: “I cannot watch the football game.” Really, I just survived a hurricane and I was complaining about my DVR?

I wish I could say I sustained my gratitude for a good solid week, but I found myself in that place where I was prior to the hurricane within a couple hours of getting power back. Yes, I am a person of faith, but an imperfect person of imperfect faith. And the hurricane taught me that lesson as well.

Now, we face the potential of other storms. We simply do not know what our near future is going to be when it comes to weather. All the spaghetti models in the world won’t tell us exactly what the future has in store for us. At best, we can make an educated guess. But we do know where we can find our strength to get through to the other side of the coming storm. Our strength comes with our faith in God.

Pastor Gross is a pastor of Zion Lutheran Church, located at 959 SE 6 Ave., Deerfield Beach, FL 33441. For more information, call 954-421-3146 or visit www.zion-lutheran.org.

As I write this, it’s 4:05 p.m. on Friday, Sept. 8, 2017, and I am hunkered down in my office patiently awaiting Hurricane Irma — stocked with Voltage soda and plenty of candy. This article releases after Irma will have passed, undoubtedly leaving a path of destruction and many asking why? Why God? Why Irma? Why Harvey? Why an earthquake off the coast of Mexico? Why the wildfires in Montana and LA [and Oregon]? Why the flooding in South Asia? Why?

Though we may not be able to fully understand the why ourselves, I do know our God is sovereign — fully in control. Still, naturally, we seek answers; yet it was the apostle Paul, a follower of Jesus, in his letter to the Romans, that writes, “How impossible it is for us to understand His decisions and His ways. For who can know the Lord’s thoughts?” Romans 11:33-34 NLT). So what can we do? James, the brother of Jesus, writes, “The earnest prayer of a righteous person has great power and produces wonderful results” (James 5:16 NLT). So let us “[not] worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what [we] need, and thank Him for all He has done. Then [we] will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand” (Philippians 4:6-7 NLT). 

With that said, join me in praying in one accord, without ceasing (1 Thessalonians 5:17), the following:

Dear Lord, we first and foremost approach You in thanksgiving. We thank You for Your creation: the land and the seas; the sun that shines so brightly that we need specially approved glasses to gaze upon it. We thank You for salvation through Your Son Jesus — for His sacrifice on the cross that set us free from the punishment of our sins. We thank You for Your Word and the awe-inspiring ways You reveal Yourself to us. You are the Alpha and the Omega; the Beginning and the End. You are our Father in Heaven and we come before you with heavy hearts. God, to those who have experienced the loss of a loved one, beloved pet and/or property, we ask for Your peace and comfort to overflow upon them. Allow them to feel Your presence physically, but also recognize Your care and concern for them through the local body of believers co-laboring alongside them in the restoration efforts.

Father, continue to keep watch over the first responders: the military, police, fire/EMS, medical professionals, power company linemen, disaster relief staff/volunteers and anyone assisting in the relief efforts. We honor them for their sacrifice — physical, mental and financial, as they put their life on the line, and on hold, to serve others. We also pray for and give thanks for those who were unable to physically be present during a global relief event but donated money and/or resources.

Lord, we also pray for the local governments. Let them feel supported by their constituency and not grow weary in the completion of their duties. Remind them that You alone have established them in their role for such a time and place as this (Romans 13:1 NLT); and that they have access to Your power, wisdom and knowledge.

Most High, we also give thanks for and pray for the many churches, corporations and small businesses that have rallied together to provide relief such as shelter, food and other necessities that ensure safety and reestablishes communication between loved ones. Allow the private sector to know our gratitude for their sacrifice, assistance and sense of obligation to the world at large.

Lastly, we pray that through all that has occurred, and is still ongoing that the world will, through our unity, experience Your presence and recognize that you sent us — the Body of Christ (John 17:23 NLT), and that no trouble or calamity, persecution, hunger or danger — not even death; nothing in all creation, which includes natural disasters — can separate them from Christ’s love. “No, despite all these things, overwhelming victory is [theirs] through Christ…” (Romans 8:31-39 NLT). To You be the glory. Amen.

C.J. Wetzler is the NextGen pastor at The Church at Deerfield Beach. Before transitioning into full-time ministry, CJ was a commercial airline captain and high school leadership and science teacher. For questions or comments he can be reached at cj@dfb.church.

Before making landfall in Florida, Hurricane Irma broke records on its relentless churn through the Caribbean. Irma spent 8.5 days as a major hurricane and sustained 185 mph winds for 37 hours as a Category 5 hurricane — making it the longest cyclone on the globe to maintain such intensity. Irma was the strongest storm that has ever existed in the Atlantic outside the Caribbean and Gulf of Mexico. Irma will break more records and will be with us in many ways, such as through flooding issues, wind damage, power outages, structural damage and destruction to homes, businesses, vegetation, pets, farm animals, vehicles, boats, bridges and roadways.

A high percentage of those living or working in the path of this hurricane, which happened to be the entire state of Florida, experienced stress and anxiety when planning a strategy to deal with the onset and then fall out of this force of nature.

The American Psychological Association states that it is common for people to experience very strong emotional reactions with the arrival of a hurricane and its accompanying damage to homes and community infrastructures. Understanding common responses to extreme events can help you to cope effectively with your feelings, thoughts and behaviors.

Here are steps one can take to help restore emotional well-being and a sense of control in the wake of Hurricane Irma:

•Recognize and manage: You have tackled hardships at other times in your life. Tap into the skills you used to get through past challenges.

•Network TV and online news: Watching replays of footage from the hurricane can make your stress even greater. Often, the media tries to interest viewers by presenting worst case scenarios and they may not be representative of your home or community.

•Ask for and get support: Reach out to people who care about you and who will listen and empathize with your situation. Find out about local support groups led by trained and experienced professionals.

Engage in healthy behaviors to enhance your ability to cope with excessive stress. Eat well-balanced meals and get plenty of rest. If you experience difficulties sleeping, you may be able to find some relief through relaxation techniques. Avoid alcohol and drugs since these can increase a sense of depression and/or impede you from doing what is necessary to be resilient and cope with events.

Individuals with prolonged distress related to Irma that disrupt their daily functioning should consider consulting with a trained and experienced mental health professional to help provide education about best responses to extreme stress and create a plan for moving forward.

As you gather with family, friends and co-workers in the days and months ahead for special events, or to celebrate holidays, reflect on what Hurricane Irma may have taught you and then hold onto those you love a little tighter, and listen with kindness to those you may disagree with in order to find common ground or initiate compromise. The devastation caused by Hurricane Irma helps us acknowledge how precious life is and it can also help us better demonstrate to our self and others an appreciation for this beautiful, amazing and challenging life we have. Change is possible.

Dr. Julia Breur is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist with a private clinical psychotherapy practice in Boca Raton. Further information available at www.drjuliabreur.com.

By Gary Curreri

 The annual McDougle Bowl will have to wait thanks to Hurricane Irma.

 On Tuesday morning, the Broward County Athletic Association (BCAA) had rescheduled all 16 of its weekend football games to Wednesday night, but opted to cancel those plans early Wednesday morning when the threat of Hurricane Irma to South Florida became more imminent.

 The fourth annual event between Deerfield Beach High School and Blanche Ely High School would be moved to a later date if officials can come up with an alternative date. Retired NFL players and brothers Stockar and Jerome McDougle partner with the BCAA in hosting the annual event.

 Both deeply involved in the community, Stockar (1996 Deerfield Beach grad) and Jerome (1997 Blanche Ely grad) hand out $1,000 scholarships to an MVP from each game.

 “Nothing has been rescheduled at this point,” said BCAA Director of Athletics Rocky Gillis.

 With the storm not shifting course away from Florida, BCAA commissioner Shawn Cerra said it was more important to preparing for the hurricane. In fact, all high school activities were canceled for the rest of the week.

 Broward County announced Tuesday that schools would be closed on Thursday and Friday. Palm Beach and Miami-Dade had also done the same.

 The Saturday evening contest between Deerfield Beach at Blanche Ely was one of the top Broward County matchups this week.

 Deerfield Beach, currently the top-ranked team in the Class 8A state poll, is 1-1 this season, dropped a 44-21 decision on the road against St. Joseph Regional in Montvale, NJ. The Bucks fell behind 21-0 in the first quarter and could never recover.

 Blanche Ely is 0-2 out of the gate under new coach Calvin Davis. The Tigers have been outscored 63-13 in their two games losing to Stranahan 30-13 in the season opener and 33-0 last week to Plantation and former Blanch Ely head coach Steve Davis. The Colonels are 2-0 to start the season.

 Deerfield Beach football coach Jevon Glenn said his team is primed for a breakout year. The team spent the summer touring 27 college campuses.

 “It was out biggest thus far,” Glenn said. “It is a great tool for us to get the kids out and see and get the touch feel experience and get close to their dreams. A lot of our kids were offered or being recruited by those schools, so it is also an awesome team building and team bonding aspect. We have a lot of fun and there is a lot of ribbing too, with kids taking videos while the others are sleeping.”

 “In my tenure, there is really no replacement for that,” Glenn said. “We have kids from different walks of life and different neighborhoods…there is nothing else like us being out there in the country, just us against the world. It forges that brotherhood and then we bring it back from the road and that’s why we do it every year.”

Pompano Beach falls to 0-2      

 Following a 53-0 loss to host Monarch, the Golden Tornadoes dropped a 39-6 decision to John Carroll Catholic (Ft. Pierce) on Friday night. Pompano Beach High’s game against Coral Glades, also 0-2, was canceled this week due to the Hurricane.

Knights also have to wait

 Coach Josue Paul and his Highlands Christian Academy football team will also have to wait as the Friday night game against Somerset Academy was also canceled.