The words you speak every day carry more power than you realize. They have the potential to take your life – and the lives of those around you – in either a positive or a negative direction. To use your words for good, you must first begin focusing on certain categories of words while working to eliminate others from your vocabulary altogether.

Specifically, decide to create a habit of speaking words of praise and encouragement. At the same time, choose to steer clear of any kind of gossip or complaining. When you do, you will see a positive difference in your life and in the effect you have on other people. Here’s a quick look at each of these types of words to help you get started:

Praise – Words of praise shift your attention away from selfishness and toward God’s goodness. Try starting every day by praising God for who He is and for the blessings in your life. Let those words settle into your heart and become part of the wellspring you speak from for the rest of the day.

Encouragement – Everyone needs encouragement. As you begin speaking from a God-focused heart, encouraging words will come naturally. You will begin seeing other people as God sees them, which will make you want to use your words to help them grow in that direction. When you stop focusing on others’ shortcomings and, instead, become a source of encouragement, you are cooperating with God in building them into the people He wants them to be.

On the negative side of the equation, there are two major categories of words that can sabotage your life and your relationships. Speaking these words is like ingesting small, daily doses of poison:

Gossip – Gossip, in all forms, is destructive. Not only does it tear others down, it also deteriorates people’s trust in you. When you gossip, you are engaging in an activity that has no possible end result but harm. Others are hurt, and the noxious words seep into your soul, creating internal toxicity.

Complaints – Complaints become self-fulfilling prophecies. If you feed the small irritations in your life with words, they will grow into more substantial problems. The energy you spend focusing on them gives them heightened potential to derail your best life.

Nelson Searcy is the founding and lead pastor of The Journey Church in Boca Raton. Sunday services are held at 9:30 and 11 a.m. www.bocajourney.com.

One evening recently, my wife and I stopped into a small boutique shop in our neighborhood after dinner.

While browsing, I spotted a decorative plaque that read: Remember, as far as anyone knows, we are a nice, normal family.

The shopkeeper noticed my chuckle and said the plaque had been a huge seller.

My interest was piqued. I went home and did some research on the licensing of this quote. Turns out, it’s being printed on everything from coasters to clocks, and sales have skyrocketed in the last few years.

Why do so many people relate to the sentiment? Because, deep down, we all feel like our families aren’t what they should be.

There are skeletons in our closets. There are old scars and new wounds left by broken marriages, wayward children and countless disappointments.

Most of us even worry at one point or another that our families may border on being (gasp) dysfunctional. So we do our best to portray a nice, normal image to the on-looking world.

Here’s some comforting news: Every family is dysfunctional. The question is to what degree?

Family can be a source of support and grounding, but it can also be a hotbed for conflict and unresolved tensions. Thankfully, there are steps you and I can take to help keep our families strong and filled with love:

• Focus on God – Establish your family on a solid foundation by focusing on God.

Start by taking time to pray together every day. If you aren’t in the habit of praying as a family, it may be awkward at first. Don’t let that stop you. The cliché is true: The family that prays together stays together.

• Forgive Quickly – Every family is made up of flawed human beings. You’re not perfect and neither are those closest to you, so you aren’t going to get through life without being hurt. Decide to forgive your family members of their wrongs quickly. Showing grace and allowing for each other’s mistakes is the oil that keeps the machinery of family running.

Be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you. (Ephesians 4:32)

• Prioritize Quality Time

– Investing time in family members is essential to deepening relationships and keeping things on course. Build more family time into your routine:

• Have Dinner Together. Several times per week, have dinner as a family.

The dinner table is where community is built.

• Celebrate Successes and Special Occasions: Birthdays, graduations, weddings and holidays are powerful times to reconnect with family and focus on God’s blessings.

You and I have a responsibility to create healthy families, but we have to simultaneously turn them over to God. We can build foundations, but we can’t control outcomes.

As we put God first and then let go and trust him to work out his purposes, He will.

In the process, he’ll build strong, beautiful families who display his unconditional love to the world.

I would love for you to join me at The Journey – Boca Raton this Sunday at 9:30 or 11 a.m., as we continue our teaching series about a guy who knew a few things about family dysfunction and other hardships, Joseph: From Pit to Pinnacle.

As our guest, you’ll receive a free copy of Unshakable: How to Stand Strong Through Life’s Storms – an essential guide to weathering the inevitable difficulties we all face. Visit www. bocajourney.com for more details. I hope to see you there!

Nelson Searcy is the founding pastor of The Journey Church in Boca Raton.

By Nelson Searcy

Go to any metropolitan city in the world – and even some not so metropolitan – and you will inevitably see someone walking down the street talking to himself.

Your tendency is probably to pity him for being disturbed. The irony is that you carry on conversations with yourself all the time, too – just not usually aloud.

Whether you’re aware of it or not, you talk to yourself all day every day through the thoughts you allow to fill your mind. So what are you saying to yourself? Are your thoughts working for you or against you?

Everything you choose to do or not do, say or not say, starts with the seed of thought. Your entire life is an outgrowth of what goes on in your mind. So getting a handle on the words no one hears but you is key to creating the life you are meant to live. Here are three practical steps to help you adopt better thinking:

1. Listen to your internal dialogue. Tune in to the script that’s constantly running in your own head. Too often, your thoughts and mine are on autopilot. We don’t give them much consideration. Or worse, we forget that we are their masters and we let them have their way with us. Remember:

• You can’t always control the thoughts that pop into your head, but you can control what you do with them.

• Thoughts only have as much power as you give them.

• It’s not a sin to have a false or tempting thought pass through your mind. Let it go. The sin comes when you choose to indulge that thought, either by dwelling on or acting on it.

2. Take every thought captive. When God is working in your life, he will fill you with peace, love and joy. Those gifts will be thwarted if you refuse to let them take root and influence your thoughts. It’s up to you to resist habitual thought patterns and instead match your brain to what God is doing in your spirit. Be intentional about trapping and disposing of thoughts that don’t line up with his truth.

3. Replace old thinking with new. As you eliminate thoughts that don’t benefit you, replace them with new ones that do. Fill the newly vacant space in your mind with a more positive internal dialogue. There’s more than one way to think about every situation and event in your life. When you choose to see the positive, you are agreeing with God’s perspective – you are agreeing with his view of you, your circumstances and the people he has put around you. That alone will propel you toward a fuller, happier life.

• On Mother’s Day, Sunday May 10 we’ll be celebrating the special day by providing free family portraits for everyone who attends. The Journey Church meets 9:30a.m. or 11a.m. at Boca Raton Community High School. There will be special programming for Kidz birth thru 5th grade too. For more, see www.bocajourney.com. I would love to see you there!

Nelson Searcy is the author of 13 books and serves as the founding pastor of The Journey Church in Boca Raton.

The words you speak on a daily basis are powerful. They carry more weight than you may realize. Not only do they shape your thinking and, therefore, determine your actions, they also direct your relationships, your accomplishments, and, ultimately, define your reality. Still, it’s easy to underestimate the significance of words because they are so commonplace. You are immersed in them on a daily basis like a fish in water.

Stepping back and choosing to see the power and impact of your linguistic habits takes intentionality. But, when you are able to do just that, you’ll begin to realize that every word you say has the ability to change your life for better or for worse. The first step in using what comes out of your mouth to create the life you’ve imagined is to recognize three essential truths about the nature of words:

1. Words are a gift from God. The ability to use words at all is a gift from God. He was the first one to harness the creative force of words – and he has entrusted you with the same ability to use words to create the world around you. Given the substantial nature of this gift, you can’t just throw your words around any old way you please; they contain too much power and carry with them too much responsibility.

2. Words can build up or tear down. As a kid, you probably chanted the phrase, “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.” Even though it sounds good in theory, the phrase is just plain wrong. Words can hurt. I bet you don’t have any problem remembering the last harsh words that were spoken to you, or the last encouraging words you received. Other people’s words have incredible impact on your heart, as do your words on theirs. Keep this in mind as you speak to your spouse, your children, your friends and your coworkers.

3. The quality of your life is determined by the quality of your words. Words aren’t neutral. Every word that goes out has a consequence attached to it. How you speak to the people in your life will determine the quality of those relationships. How well you communicate with God through prayer will determine the quality of your connection with him. Your internal dialogue with yourself will determine the quality of your actions and interactions each day. When you consider all of these things together, it naturally follows that the quality of your very life is created by the words you speak. Using your words intentionally is crucial to living the life you’ve imagined.

As you become more conscious of the way you use language, you can begin to take advantage of its power to shape the life you want. In the process, you will be able to stop inadvertently sabotaging others and yourself with words that do nothing to help you.

To explore the power and significance of your words in more depth, be sure to check out my new book, Tongue Pierced: How the Words You Speak Transform the Life You Live (David C. Cook, 2015). Pick up your copy at Amazon. com, a book retailer near you or by visiting The Journey Church in Boca Raton. We would love to see you at our 9:30 or 11 a.m. service this Sunday! The Journey Church meets at Boca Raton High School.

Nelson Searcy is the author of 13 books and serves as the lead pastor of The Journey Church in Boca Raton. www.bocajourney.com.