It’s November and that means many of us will celebrate the Thanksgiving holiday. Many folks will gather with family members and enjoy a Thanksgiving feast. For others, it means the onset of “holiday blues” or feelings of sadness and depression.

Being thankful or grateful are ways we express feelings of appreciation. The difference between thankful and grateful is that thankful is an inward expression and grateful is an outward one.

Major benefits of being thankful and grateful:

Makes one happy

Opens door to more relationships

Improves physical and mental health

Strengthens one’s self esteem

Sleeping habits improve

Makes one optimistic

Enhances empathy

Two topic related patient stories follow, and, after reading them, I ask that you reflect upon what you are thankful and grateful for in your life.

Mary’s story

Mary is a psychotherapy patient of mine that initially contacted me because she found out that she was unable to become pregnant. She and her husband had numerous medical tests to diagnose her inability to conceive. After this news, Mary quickly became withdrawn from her husband and believed that she was depressed.

Mary told me that she always dreamed of getting married and having lots of children. With the current news, she was convinced that her husband would leave her in order to find a new partner who could conceive and give him children.

After a few months of therapy sessions, the couple acknowledged the reality, the sadness and the potential possibilities of their situation. Mary and her husband are currently investigating adoption programs in order to have the large family they want. Mary and her husband are thankfulthat they have the option to consider adopting children and they are grateful that psychotherapy allows them to have the space to express their feelings about each other, adopting children and parenting.

Tim’s story

Tim was a 17 year-old senior at a local Boca Raton High School. He was accepted to a prestigious college along with a tennis scholarship. Tim has a great family, was a stellar high school student, an athlete, enjoyed his social life and had a healthy approach to eating food, and was physically active.

Tim was also complaining of right knee pain and had an examination with his primary care physician. Tim was diagnosed with Juvenile Idiopathic Arthritis (JIP). He had severe inflammation and joint damage in his right knee.

Tim took this news poorly and became depressed. Tim’s parents asked him to meet with me for his depression. He agreed, and the first thing he said to me when we met at my office was “My life is over! I am disappointing so many people because I have a damaged knee.”

Tim and I discussed many facets of his life during therapy sessions. We defined the new limits of his right knee and discussed acceptance of JIP, swimming as an alternative to playing tennis, his family and personal relationships, managing depression and his overall connection to his thoughts, feelings and behaviors.

Fast forward: Tim graduated from college and is now in medical school. He teaches tennis lessons to children and speaks regularly for the Arthritis Foundation on JIP. Tim is thankfulthat knowledgeable, supportive, caring and loving people helped him through his diagnosis of JIP and grateful for having a better understanding that life is a wonderful journey worth living that includes unexpected experiences. Tim demonstrates that change is possible.

Dr. Julia Breur is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist with a private clinical psychotherapy practice in Boca Raton. Her website is www.drjuliabreur.com. For more information, e-mail info@drjuliabreur.com or call 561-512-8545.

In this season, we are often reminded and encouraged to be grateful for what we have and enjoy, but there is seldom any direction as to whom we should be thankful. I recently read a story of a blind boy stationed on a sidewalk with a sign identifying his infirmity. Strangers would pass by and place coins in his hat. A gentleman stopped to observe him for a while, then took the sign, wrote something else on the back of it and put it in its place. People began to contribute even more money when they read the sign: “it’s a beautiful day but I can’t see it.” The point of the story was that we should be thankful for the abilities we possess but often take for granted. There was no mention as to whom we should direct our gratitude, however.

As a believer, I am convinced by Scripture and experience that God is the source of our blessings. There was a time when most would readily agree with that sentiment. I was intrigued to learn that all 50 states acknowledge God in the preamble to their constitutions. The Alabama Constitution states, “We the people of the State of Alabama…invoking the favor and guidance of Almighty God, do ordain and establish the following Constitution…” California’s Preamble: “We, the people of the State of California, grateful to Almighty God for our freedom…” Connecticut states, “The People of Connecticut, acknowledging with gratitude the good Providence of God in permitting them to enjoy…” Florida’s Preamble: “We, the people of the State of Florida, grateful to Almighty God for our constitutional liberty…establish this Constitution.” Vermont’s Preamble: “Whereas all government ought to…enable the individuals who compose it to enjoy their natural rights, and other blessings which the Author of Existence has bestowed on man…”

Earlier generations willingly noted the goodness of God and rightfully appreciated His Providence. Technological and scientific advancements have certified our potential and made us more confident in our pursuits, but experience reveals that we do not have mastery over every circumstance. We owe our gratitude to someone greater than ourselves for the ability to breathe, think, act and achieve. Biblical admonitions abound concerning our need to be thankful to God. Psalm 106:1, “Praise ye the Lord. O give thanks unto the Lord; for he is good; for his mercy endures forever.” Colossians 4:2, “Continue in prayer, and watch in the same with thanksgiving.” Isaiah 12:4-5, “And you will say in that day: Give thanks to the Lord, call upon his name, make known his deeds among the peoples, proclaim that his name is exalted. Sing praises to the Lord, for he has done gloriously; let this be made known in all the earth.”

It is not enough to be merely grateful or thankful for something, one must necessarily be grateful to the person who made the thing possible. As a boy I learned the popular doxology which begins with, “Praise God from whom all blessings flow.” It established the fact that any good, beneficial and pleasant thing or experience had its origin in the favor of the Almighty God. As I look back over a lifetime of experiences, I am more and more appreciative to God for His undeniable goodness. Thanksgiving has become more than a seasonal acknowledgement of blessings. It is a daily practice that begins with the realization that I’ve awakened to a new day.

Hailey Bartholomew from Australia discovered how to overcome the sense of being stuck on the treadmill of life: find something daily for which to be thankful. It revolutionized her life as she began to see things she had never noticed before. She learned to live with gratitude and celebrate life. Why not follow her lead and cultivate a lifestyle of appreciation to God for His daily expressions of mercy and grace? In this season and always, have a Happy Thanksgiving!

Bishop Patrick L. Kelly is the pastor of Cathedral Church of God, 365 S. Dixie Hwy., Deerfield Beach, FL 33441. 954-427-0302.

A Peanuts cartoon shows Snoopy looking over his Thanksgiving dinner in a bowl. In the first frame he remarks, “How about that?” In the second he is eating and thinking to himself, “Everyone is eating turkey today, but just because I’m a dog, I get dog food.” In the third frame he concludes, “Of course, it might have been worse…” And in the final frame he remarks, “I could have been born a turkey.” It’s an interesting commentary on our propensity to be dissatisfied with circumstances in life only to perhaps discover a reason to be grateful after all.

In this season of Thanksgiving, we should be reflecting on the many reasons why we ought to be grateful. If we are not careful, we may fall into the trap of focusing more upon our dissatisfactions than upon our blessings. Issues that result in frustrations, anxiety and worry abound in our lives, but we don’t have to be victimized by adversity. It is possible to develop a lifestyle of gratitude and thankfulness regardless of what we may face.

In Philippians 4:6, Paul advises believers to “Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God.” He essentially offers a formula for living a grateful life in three practical steps. “Be anxious for nothing” translates into “do not worry”. Eliminate, or at least diminish, anxiety, fretting and worry from your life. Anxiety has to do with mental anguish and excessive concern, which can cloud our ability to think clearly or act rationally.

Someone calculated the average person’s anxiety in the following manner: 40 percent of our anxiety is focused upon things that will never happen; 30 percent is focused on things from our past which cannot be changed; 12 percent is focused upon criticism from others, most of which is untrue; 10 percent concerns our health, which only worsens with stress; and only 8 percent of our anxiety is focused on real problems with which we must contend. A whopping 92 percent of our anxiety is entirely unnecessary! We simply need to learn how to manage the remaining 8 percent. Paul’s strategy? Just don’t worry!

Next, we are encouraged to pray about everything. Prayer is conversing with God, sharing our hopes and dreams, as well as our fears and concerns. Many therapists will attest to the benefit of talking through your problems and challenges. We all need to have people in our lives with whom we can consult when facing overwhelming circumstances. Who better to converse with than the all-knowing and all-powerful God in prayer. Psalm 55:22 offers a promise: “Cast your burden on the Lord, and He shall sustain you.” An old hymn of the church adds, ‘take your burden to the Lord, and leave it there.’ And someone once remarked, “why worry when you can pray?”

Finally, Paul’s strategy for living a grateful life urges the practice of being thankful. Even when faced with dissatisfaction or disappointment in life, we can still find a reason to be grateful. Like Snoopy discovered, things may not always go our way but that doesn’t mean we have to be resentful. Rather, we can choose to be thankful.

In fact, there are three reasons why we can be grateful in adversity. It could have been worse than it is, there may be a life-lesson in the experience and it will work for your good. The Scriptures provide ample confirmation of this perspective. Believers live with the knowledge that God is ordering their steps and guiding them to perfection and maturity.

Enjoy this season as you spend time with family and friends. Consider the many reasons to be thankful and aim for a lifestyle of gratitude. Don’t worry about anything, pray about everything, and be thankful in all things. Happy Thanksgiving!

Bishop Patrick L. Kelly is the pastor of Cathedral Church of God, 365 S. Dixie Hwy., Deerfield Beach, FL 33441. 954-427-0302.

This is the season to be grateful for the things, the people, and the experiences that make life enjoyable. A comfortable home, friends and family, and a well-earned accomplishment are examples of what cause many of us to be thankful. But what of the challenges and stresses that wear away at our patience and resolve? Gratitude is not the first thing that comes to our mind or our will when facing them. Discouragement, distress, helplessness, frustration and anger are probably among the first inclinations we will have in times of difficulty.

Author George Mikes relates the following story in one of his books: In Budapest, a man goes to the rabbi and complains, “Life is unbearable. There are nine of us living in one room. What can I do?”

The rabbi answers, “Take your goat into the room with you.”

The man in incredulous, but the rabbi insists, saying, “Do as I say and come back in a week.”

A week later the man comes back looking more distraught than before.

“We cannot stand it,” he tells the rabbi. “The goat is filthy.”

The rabbi then tells him, “Go home and let the goat out and come back in a week.”

A radiant man returns to the rabbi a week later, exclaiming, “Life is beautiful. We enjoy every minute of it now that there’s no goat — only the nine of us.”

The church in Thessalonica was facing persecution but the believers were standing firm in their faith. They were commended by the apostle Paul, in his first letter to them, along with praise for being examples to believers in Macedonia and Achaia. In 1 Thessalonians 5:18, Paul writes this: “In everything give thanks; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.” He did not mean to suggest that every bad experience was God’s will for the believer, but that believers can find a reason to be grateful in both success and adversity, as well as anything in between.

Life could always be worse, as the illustration of the goat in the room reveals. Let me ask you, hasn’t God been good even in your bad times? Can you not find a reason to be full of appreciation even in the difficult seasons of your life? Is there no one on the planet whose state of existence is worse than yours? You may have a lot to complain about, and may long for something better, but does that mean you can’t be grateful for something right now? Allow me to strongly suggest that you have many reasons to be thankful. An old hymn of the church encourages us to take stock of God’s goodness when times are bad: When upon life’s billows you are tempest-tossed, when you are discouraged, thinking all is lost, count your many blessings, name them one by one, and it will surprise you what the Lord has done. The last verse instructs, So, amid the conflict whether great or small, do not be discouraged, God is over all; count your many blessings, angels will attend, help and comfort give you to your journey’s end.

This Thanksgiving, enjoy your time with family and friends. Spend time with God and thank Him for the many blessings in your life. Participate in some of the numerous opportunities to be a blessing to others during this time of year. Serve a hot meal, donate a turkey, wrap a gift, volunteer your time. Count your blessings and be grateful. Happy Thanksgiving!

Bishop Patrick L. Kelly is the pastor of Cathedral Church of God, 365 S. Dixie Hwy., Deerfield Beach, FL 33441. 954-427-0302.

Andrew Carnegie was considered to be the richest man in America during his lifetime. Having made his wealth in the steel industry, he advocated for philanthropy and practiced what he preached by reportedly giving away over $350 million to public charities. I recently read that he also left $1 million to one of his relatives, who was consequently displeased with the amount when compared to the large sums given to other causes. He should have been grateful that he got anything at all.

Samuel Liebowitz was a criminal lawyer and judge who reportedly saved 78 men from the electric chair. It is said that none of them ever thanked him.

In the Gospels, it is recorded that Jesus was approached by 10 lepers who begged him to heal them. He instructed them to go and show themselves to the priest. On the way, they were all healed but only one returned to thank the Lord. Jesus publicly inquired about the other nine, noting that only one had returned to voice his appreciation.

The expression of gratitude is a characteristic of civilized society. We were taught as children to say “thank you” when given gifts, on receiving a compliment or when we were the objects of the kindness of strangers. Good manners dictate that we acknowledge the graciousness of our fellowman. Only animals and barbarians are so callous in their disregard of others, and so consumed with themselves, that they display no sense of indebtedness for acts of good will.

Bible teacher H.A. Ironside was said to be dining in a crowded restaurant when he was approached by a gentleman who asked to share the table with him. He consented and then bowed his head to give thanks for his meal, as was his custom. The surprised gentleman inquired if Dr. Ironside was ill or displeased with his food.

Upon learning that Dr. Ironside was engaging in a habit of thanking God for his meal, the gentleman scoffed, “Oh, you’re one of those, are you? Well, I want you to know I never give thanks. I earn my money by the sweat of my brow and I don’t have to give thanks to anybody when I eat. I just start right in.”

Dr. Ironside replied, “Yes, you’re just like my dog. That’s what he does, too!”

As we prepare to celebrate another Thanksgiving Day, we ought to be grateful for the many blessings and good things that we are able to enjoy. Even in the seemingly difficult circumstances of life, and with all of the chaos that exists on a national and worldwide level, we can still find a reason to be grateful. Life may not be all that we would desire for it to be, but consider that things could be a lot worse than they are right now. Somewhere on this planet there is someone who would gladly trade places with you.

Do you have people in your life who genuinely love you? Do you have a comfortable bed to sleep in at night? Are you able to eat when you feel hungry? Do all five of your senses still work? Do you know your name and where you live? Are you in possession of any good memories? If you can answer “yes” to at least one of these questions you have a reason to be grateful. Even the simple things, that we often take for granted, should be appreciated. God has blessed us in many ways and He rightly deserves our thanks.

Several Psalms encourage gratitude to God for what He has done by making the same exhortation, “Oh, give thanks to the Lord, for He is good! For His mercy endures forever.” (Psalms 106:1, 107:1, and 136). May this directive to an ancient people in their day inspire our attitude and behavior in our day. God has shown us great mercy, goodness and grace. Let’s be grateful. Happy Thanksgiving!

Bishop Patrick L. Kelly is the pastor of Cathedral Church of God, 365 S. Dixie Hwy., Deerfield Beach, FL 33441. 954-427-0302.